The Small Gate and Narrow Road

Eye Spy

2010-10-01T06:58:00.000-04:00

Wow, October 1. Where did July, August, and September go? Good grief. I remember my grandmother and I sitting in the yard under big pecan trees in the summer time, in green chairs, like this one ------>>>>

And I would be making my Christmas list in July eating ice milk and playing Eye Spy (I would spy something green just to make it last longer.) And I can remember feeling like the days just took forever, that winter would never come. And I remember her telling me that as I got older that time would go by faster. She had to have been around 50 when we had this conversation. I'm 40 now, and she seemed old, grandmotherly, and smelled of Rose Milk.

In 10 years I will be 50, my daughter will be almost 24.

Please God, let it slow down just a little bit. It's all going by so fast. Grandma Cleo, I miss you, I miss the house, the yard, and Christmas with you and the family.

McKenna, write it down so you can remember, and mom, take the time to play Eye Spy with your granddaughters. It's important today, but also for their tomorrows.

Yep, it's been too long

2010-07-19T06:59:00.000-04:00

Things at home have been very hectic. We have all been sick, WH and DD and I passed around stomach bugs like we were playing "hot potato" and then upper respiratory infections. I felt like we were all typhoid Mary. Most of the time when I would get off work it was straight to bed. I haven't bought groceries in weeks and thank God DD can do laundry and was willing to clean while mom was working. She has been a lifesaver over the past 4 weeks when she wasn't feeling awful as well. It's not been fun.

Everytime I got to feeling better and tried to jump back into life I would be knocked right back down and wind up back in bed. This has been going on for almost a month. I had to miss out on plans with friends and we weren't able to go to church. It seemed to start a downward spiral.

Not only was my body suffering from illness but my spirit began to grow ill. Just like germs can gain a foothold and a stronghold over our bodies when our immune system is weak, satan can use our physical and emotional weaknesses to gain a foothold as well that can turn into a stronghold if we aren't careful.

It has been an interesting journey this past month and I am so thankful that I feel like I'm coming out the other side of it now. I've been in dark places before but didn't know what was missing or how to fix it. There is a certain peace in knowing that what is missing, the reason it is getting "dark". For me it was because I was missing the joy. Thank about that and I'll be talking about it more.

Joy.

Look it up. How do you define it?

Leave a comment and tell me about your joy. There might even be a prize.

I'll be back, thank God.

RSVP

2010-05-25T07:30:00.000-04:00

Ok, here’s the deal. I have heard this complaint from several different places in the last few days. I am having a “party” on Thursday, some friends coming to try out something that I really like and honestly I want to get some of it free, that’s why women have these “parties” ya’ll. I’ve also got an event at church that I am attending and I had a friend who had a celebration of an awesome accomplishment. People were invited. Plans were or are being made to ensure there are enough seating, refreshment and even prizes, but here is the problem. People who don't RSVP.

RSVP is French for "Répondez s'il vous plaît". Translation, “Please respond”.

I know I have sent out invites in several different ways and all people have to do is check their calendar and check off Yes, No, or Maybe so that I can be prepared. People don’t get upset if you say no. We all know people either aren’t interested or might have a scheduling conflict. That’s fine, but here is my question…Are we so busy with our lives, running around in a million directions, that we have lost our common courtesy? Courtesy is all about respect. I was raised to say Yes Ma’am and No Ma’am, please and thank-you, and to let someone know if I can or cannot attend a function where my presence has been requested.

This isn’t just about a party that I am having. People cry out that they are lonely, that no one cares, but we are a people who are all the time consuming and our biggest consumer is being busy and focusing only on the “I”. We have to climb out from behind the Iphone, the Ipad, and take off the Ipod and interact with real live breathing people. We are losing our social skills byte by byte. We are becoming a society that responds to life in 140 characters or less and we find out about others by reading their Facebook status updates.

I’m not saying that media is a bad thing. I have FB, I have a blog (which you know if you are reading this), and I have texting and messengers and voice mail, but am I the only one that is feeling the disconnect while being plugged into 10 different things?

These are all wonderful tools. But just like the television, video games, sports, etc. it all depends on how it is used and everything that God can use for good, satan can and will pervert. We have to wake up and become aware. Are we replacing real life conversation with a keypad and a monitor and if so why? Are we afraid? Are we so busy that we no longer have time for chats on the front porch or coffee without being plugged in just in case we miss something?

I get so frustrated when I am talking with friends and they are checking their phones to see what else is going on. They aren’t 100% with you, they are distracted by their 400+ friends on FB and whether their mafia group just got attacked or their crops need to be harvested (if you do FB you will get this.)

When you see a post on FB or read a friends email, do you call them or do you just hit the “like” button or respond via text? Can’t you see where satan is seeping in and pushing us further and further into isolation? Kids are losing the ability to converse unless it’s via text. Adults are spending more time with their CPU then their significant others. And people are preparing a table for friends to come and celebrate accomplishments and people are too caught up in the “I” to see the “you”.

Unplug, respond with a phone call at least, but a face-to-face would be best. And please, if you get an invite, let someone know if you can make it.

Yep, told you I’d been thinking a lot.

Playing in traffic (Conclusion)

2010-05-20T07:00:00.000-04:00

Ah-Ha Moment #4: “Come here, come on baby, let’s go home.”

He wasn’t going to listen. He didn’t know me. He didn’t know my voice. That wasn’t his fault. He was doing what puppies do. He was playing. He had left the safety of his home to venture out into the big wide world and had landed smack dab in the middle of a mess. Why should he leave the freedom and the fun he was having? Because he didn’t realize the danger. We could see it. All the people in the cars around him knew that one wrong move and he would likely be killed and they were able to stop and prevent the danger. But he still had to get out of the road cause just like there are different cars traveling the roads every day, there are different temptations, different dangers, and different situations that are all around us trying to keep us from our Heavenly Father.

Ah-Ha Moment #5: “Be still.”

God cannot step in, pick us up, and carry us out of the mess unless we stop. We have to be still. We have to get quiet. I struggle with this every single day. Getting quiet and still in my heart. When I don’t know which direction to go, what to do, what step to take, it’s because I have to be still. Then we can either jump the ditch to safety or we might just be so lost, confused, and overwhelmed by it all that all we can do is fall down on our knees and submit. God will reach down, pick us up and hold us close and He will carry us to safety.

How do you get still? Take 15 minutes of quiet time. If you have never done that before, start with 5. Just sit. I light a candle sometimes. Turn out the lights so I am not distracted. When you first start it will be hard to turn off all that is swirling around you but keep turning that focus back to God and give yourself grace. Grace when the grocery list starts forming in your head, grace when you start thinking of all the things you need to do at work, grace when the honey-do list that your wife made for you starts unrolling in your brain. Be kind when you mentally roll that list up and put it away and then turn your focus back on your Father. Be quiet. And just listen.

That’s how I got the ah-ha moment from the puppy. I didn’t “see” all of these points at the time. I didn’t jump in the car after finding his home full of insight and singing praises. (Yes I did find his house; it had a “Beware of the dog” sign in the window, irony much?) It took thinking through what happened. Seeing the snapshots of it in my mind and getting alone with God so that He could teach me. I had to be still.

Ah-Ha Moment #6: (Last one, thanks for hanging in there): Do we bite the hand that saves us (or pee on it)? Do we recognize the miracles and blessings that are all around us? Do we slow down enough to realize when God steps in and wraps us in His arms? Or are we so hyped up, so excited, that we never experience the joy and the peace when He holds us. Or worse, do we attack Him when He corrects, when He disciplines, and bite back the very hand that wants to comfort? God uses people to minister to His children. It may be a pastor in the pulpit; it may be a Godly man speaking to your son at youth. It may be a teenager pouring her heart out to her friend when she sees her going down the wrong path. It may be a woman stepping into traffic to save a puppy.

How do we respond to those messengers from God? Do we embrace them? Honor their words with respect and acceptance? Or do we get angry and pout? Walk away. Reject them and therefore reject God? Or do we run away, oblivious to the danger around us. Refusing to hear their calls, their advice, their wisdom and continue down the path of our own destruction?

Or...

Do we stop, listen, and hear not only with our ears and our brains but our hearts? Do we allow the words to help sharpen us, make us stronger, keep us safe, or do we only get offended, and lash out or run away? Satan wants you to get your feelings hurt. He is the master at manipulating words to wound. He also wants to kill steal and destroy. Do you think you are immune to him? If so, then you are playing in traffic my friend. We can see the danger in the cars speeding down the road and we know we are no match for a 4,000 pound vehicle. (Fun Fact)

What makes us think we can stand alone against the Indy driver of sin? (ok, enough car similes).

I am no match for satan on my own. I was fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time to help a puppy out of peril that he didn’t even realize he was in. But my God is always there, all the time, to rescue, to hold, and to protect the children that He loves and He loves all of us (No matter what kind of car your sin is). Get out of the road, listen to the voice that is calling you. Be still and allow Him to wrap his arms around you.

Playing in traffic Part 2

2010-05-19T06:59:00.000-04:00

This incident has been swirling around in my head for a few weeks. I believe that God shows us through example over and over again His love, kindness, and protection all around us but it is up to us to see them and figure out how they apply to our lives. Go here if you missed part 1.

Ah-Ha Moment #1: There are many times that we are playing at life, oblivious to the danger that could be just steps away. There are times when the fear of the unknown (the ditch) looks scary but it will protect us from an even bigger danger (the cars).

There are many cars on the road, many styles and many prices but they all do the exact same thing; take a person from point A to point B. If the dog had been hit it would not have mattered if the car were a Pinto or a Bugatti, he would have still been just as injured or dead.

Ah-Ha Moment #2: Are we playing in traffic but it’s okay because our sin is “no big deal” (Pinto)? It may seem to be “cheap”, no big deal, a little white lie (lying), a wish for what someone else has (envy), a lustful thought (lust, duh)

-or it may be bigger, fancier, a more “expensive” sin: Murder, adultery, stealing, etc. The Bugatti of sin and we believe that there is no way God can help.

Ah-Ha Moment #3: When we are running around in our own world, caught up in what feels good, there are likely people calling to us from the sidelines, (a spouse, a child, family members, or fellow Christians) wanting to help us, but we tune them out, ignore what they are saying and run headlong into what we believe is fun. But it turns into a mess and we see no way out. Are we not seeing the signs, hearing the warnings, or do we hear and just ignore, thinking we know better, or that the rules don't apply to us?

Often those people cannot stand-by while we continue to flirt with danger, and they have to step away from the edge so that they don’t get sideswiped. They have to give us over to God and can do nothing more than pray. We see this as rejection when in fact if we were to “stop playing in traffic” we would be back where we belong, where it is safe.

Are my actions pushing people away? Is God protecting me by sending people who can give me wise counsel? Am I listening? Am I applying what they say? Or am I playing, getting angry and resentful, and ignoring them?

Sin has no size, weight, or degree, but all sin has danger. Small or large, sin keeps us from God; sin can harm or kill our families, our relationships, and us. But all sin leads to death. Two pounds of puppy on his own is no match for tons of steel and metal. You and I my friend on our own are no match for satan and his schemes.

Homework: Psalms 91 (The Message)

Part 3 tomorrow.

Playing In Traffic (Part 1)

2010-05-18T05:49:00.003-04:00

My family and I were going to the store a couple of days ago. As we were driving we noticed the cars in front of us beginning to slow and come to a stop. This is a narrow two lane road with no shoulder. Thinking there had been an accident we slowed and tuned into what was going on around us.

And then we saw him.

He was no bigger then a minute.

He even had a sweater on. He was running up and down along that big highway. Big eyed and so excited to be out and about. He had no clue the danger he was in. We stopped and the car in the oncoming lane stopped and we all sat there and watched, hoping that the little guy would get out of the road. But each time he went to the edge, I think because of the ditches, he was afraid and ran back into the road.

<-------(This is not his picture but he looked just like this.)

How ironic that a 2 pound Chihuahua with a sweater could bringing tons of steel and metal to a grinding halt.

He was running in and around the cars and thankfully no one wanted to move for fear of running over the little guy. Finally I felt like I had to do something. So I got out and started to call to him.

“Come here baby, come on, let’s go home.”

Every time I called him I took a step closer, and as I got closer, he ran. Now think about this my friends. We are in traffic. This is a dog I do not know and I have no clue where he lives. He does not know me and face it, he's smaller, faster, and a lot cuter then I am and yes, it did cross my mind, he might just try to bite me. But I knew that he would be safer with me then the situation he was in. I just had to convince him of it.

We played his silly game for a few minutes as the cars started backing up in both directions. Every time I would come towards him he would run away and stop and look. I prayed. “God please tell me what to do.” And He did.
"Stop."

In my firmest voice I looked at the puppy and spoke “STAY”. There was no pleading or begging. There was no tempting or coercing. Firm, strong, short direct commands:

"Stop."

"Stay."

"Be still."

He stopped. He stayed. He got still. He laid down in the middle of the road, submissive and waited. I stepped forward and picked him up.

And then he peed on me. (Sometimes I get that excited too.)

But I held him to my chest and quickly stepped off of the road. Praying,

"God please don't let this dog bite me and these people see me throw him down."

We had caused quite a backup, about 10-15 cars in both directions. They honked, waved, and cheered as they drove by but all I wanted was to get him to his home.

The ah-ha moments came later.

I'll tell you about them tomorrow.

Homework: Read Psalm 91: 3-7

See you tomorrow!

May 12 Devotion

2010-05-12T07:21:00.000-04:00

May 12, 2010 Devotion
Matthew 22:34-40

What have you done this week that shows your love for God penetrates to the depth of your being? What have you done this week (not normal activity) that shows those around you that you love them?

Matthew 22:37 Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

With ALL my heart? All of it? ALL my soul? Really God? And ALL my mind? I’m not sure I know how.
Loving the Lord my God with ALL my heart. This means having no idols before Him.

Do I love God more than my husband? Yes (sorry Rodney)

Do I love God more than my parents? Yes (That truly was a hard question to answer, it's my mom and dad)

Do I love God more than my friends? Yes (Yes, and for some of those friends it's a lot easier to love God more)

Do I love God more than my children? _______ (Um…but..um..)

Wait.

More than my child?

I would die for my child. I would run into a burning building for my child. I would ride into hell with a water pistol full of Holy water for my child. But do I love God more than my child??? Yes, I have to. She deserves nothing less.

In order to love my child God’s way I have to love God more than I love my child.

Read that again.

In order to love my child God’s way I have to love God more than I love my child.

Because only by loving Him more am I able to be the mother that she needs.

It is only by loving Him more that I can be the wife, the daughter, the friend and yes the mother that He wants me to be. I cannot do it in my strength because there are times when I will fail. There will be times that I make mistakes, speak before I think, act before I pray, and make a mess of things. But if I put God and my love for Him before EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else in my life then I can be strong, stand firm, but also take correction, ask forgiveness, and be convicted not condemned. The love that God has for me can impact not only the ones around me that I love so very much, but also those that I, on my own, find very difficult to love.

That’s just the first part of this verse. Loving the Lord with all our heart. Will talk about the soul and the mind in a bit. I have to get ready for work.

God, please help each of us to love You today and every day more than anything or anyone. It is beyond our human comprehension to understand or know how very much You love us but God I pray that You will speak into the hearts of your children and work through us so that we may each show others what an Awesome God You are. Love conquers all and my Father, because You are Love, then logically, only YOU can conquer all. Father that is what this fallen world needs, our heavenly conqueror to love, protect, and provide. Thank You Father for doing all that and more for each of your children.

Clutter

2010-04-26T05:30:00.003-04:00

One of the best things when I was in the Navy and a Navy wife was the opportunity to move quite a bit. I liked it. It was stressful but there were new opportunities, new friends to meet, and you didn’t accumulate a lot of stuff because the military would only let you move so much on their nickel.

Well, I’ve been in the house I live in now for over 8 years. This is the longest I have ever lived in one place since I moved away from home at 18. Unfortunately WH and DD don’t like to get rid of things and now things have begun to pile up, wait…I promised myself to always tell the truth on my blog.

All of us have accumulated an enormous amount of things, broken things, out-grown things, things we don’t use, things that are just hanging around for sentimental reasons, and papers. A ton of paper. I an terrible at organizing but I loathe being disorganized. (Yes, I am a living oxymoron). So I’ve blocked it out. I either “don’t see it”, I put it in the garage (the bottomless pit) and I just refuse to deal with it. It’s not getting better, it’s not fixing itself, and I think it might actually be multiplying

And then I got an ah-ha moment.

There are a lot of things in my head and in my heart that have accumulated over my lifetime. I have things inside that are broken, things that I have outgrown and even things that I am holding on to for sentimental reasons. Some things were major, like my abortion, my abuse, and they caused shame and despair and depression. I didn’t think that people would understand, accept, even that I would be judged about my past, about those things in the closets and garages of my mind. I didn’t want to open the doors and clean them out.

But God…

Eventually it became too uncomfortable, too painful to ignore it, to pretend it wasn’t there. I had to open the doors to my heart and the past. Yes there were some who didn’t understand, would have preferred that I just “got over it” and “sucked it up” but there were many more that said, “me too” or “thank you”, and “You aren’t alone Leigh.”

Healing started, slowly, but the healing came, and God redeemed so much of my mistakes and my pain. Isn’t it ironic that it takes overcoming something so big to help you understand how to face the smaller things?

My carpet is something that reminds me constantly that God cares about what I care about. I think the garage and the other “messes” in my house are helping me to understand that I don’t need to try to do it alone, that I can ask for help from others, and in fact, I need to swallow some more of that pride. So I will see if I can find some really organized friends to come over on a Saturday, get a date set, and really attack this. It’s blocking up too much and causing me too much unnecessary stress. It’s time to clean house. I’ve done it in my heart, now I need to do it in my home.

Noise

2010-04-13T06:52:00.000-04:00

I used to play volleyball and basketball a long time ago (in a galaxy far, far away). I was center on my basketball team in school. I am 5’8 and according to my great-aunts I was “big-boned” (the southern polite way of saying I was a big girl). But I had a hard time focusing. I couldn’t concentrate on the plays; I couldn’t remember where we were supposed to go. I wasn’t good. I was clumsy and awkward and felt like a bull in a china shop.

My father played ball in school and he would take me outside and shoot balls for hours. Work on my lay-ups, my foul shots, and the shots from the outside. But come game time and I would be so nervous. There was so much noise and so many distractions (inside my head and out). I worried about what my dad would think, what other people would think, what the other team would think. Good grief. I couldn’t focus. All I could hear was the noise. I couldn’t take it so I quit. For years I felt like I let my dad down when I didn’t go back out on that court because I couldn’t live up to what I thought he wanted for me.

There has been a lot of noise recently in our house. Noise from the house being disorganized and things out of place, end of school projects for DD and things going on at work. A few weeks ago I went for a physical. My doctor felt something suspicious. Tests were ordered that turned down all the noise around me because IT was so loud. Lesions, is it cancer? Polyps, a mass? I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t focus on work. I couldn’t focus on being a wife, a mother, a daughter or a friend. I couldn’t focus on writing. Too much noise.

People would say to me, “God is in control” and even I would say “God’s got it.” But the noise around me would start to rumble louder. I didn’t want to come here and blog about my doubts, about my fears, about the unknown and so I quit. Too much noise. But I wrote in my head, because unlike basketball or volleyball, writing is my passion. I just couldn’t find it in me to sit down and focus long enough to get it out. I was doing it in my strength and my strength had run out.

We aren’t completely out of the woods yet on the medical tests but all, thus far, have come back negative or benign (God got it. I’m just lumpy). I meet with my surgeon on Thursday to find out our next step.

This past month I realized that Satan will turn up the noise in order to drown out my shouts of praise. He succeeded for a time. I didn’t know how to tune him out. I have stumbled lately, not knowing the plays, not understanding my position in the game. But God is patient and a coach like no other. I am learning to tune out the world and turn down the noise. It’s a slow process. Distractions and drama fight for my attention constantly. Unlike sports, which I thought I had to do to make my daddy proud (I know that’s not true now), I AM passionate about my writing. I am passionate about focusing on what He has done in my life and I am learning to do it in His strength, not mine.   I have to write it down. I have to speak it. It is as necessary to me as breathing.

How is this going to play out? What's my position? I don’t have that figured out yet, but I know I have to focus on each play, listen to my Coach, and remember that we are all on the same team. So put me in Coach, I’m ready to play. The game is far from over, but guess what, WE WIN.

Focus.

God can't...(part 2)

2010-03-17T07:23:00.002-04:00

How many times have you done things that you regretted? How many times have you been promised something that did not happen? How often are you saddened by the decision of a friend? All these things create a very powerful emotion. Disappointment.

disappointment: [ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪnt] vb (tr)
1. to fail to meet the expectations, hopes, desires, or standards of; let down
2. to prevent the fulfilment of (a plan, intention, etc.); frustrate; thwart

I have disappointed my husband, my daughter, my parents, and my friends. My intentions are good. I try. I promise. But then I don’t come through and that disappoints those around me and I disappoint myself. I’ve failed again.

But guess what?

God can’t be disappointed.

(I’ll give you a minute to ponder that.)

Let’s look at the evidence:

Fact 1: God is omniscient. He knows everything. EVERYTHING.
Fact 2: God is omnipresent. He is everywhere. Yep, even under the bed, in the closet, in the car, wherever we are…there He is.
Fact 3: God can’t be surprised.

When I tell myself “I’ve let God down” or “I am such a screw-up, God must be so disappointed in me.” Those are lies and lies come from one place only, satan. Satan wants us to turn from God because we have disappointed Him. It’s a lie.

I remember telling my mother a long time ago that I could take it if she and my dad were mad at me, but that “it killed me” if they were disappointed in me. (Yes, I know, drama much?) I didn’t know how to explain what I meant then. Anger comes from people not agreeing on something. Disappointment comes from one person having expectations, hopes, desires, or a standard for someone else. Disappointment is often hidden inside anger.

A father lets down his daughter, she gets angry but inside its disappointment. She had an expectation and her father failed to meet it. Her anger fades, the tears dry up, but disappointment, that leaves a cobweb of sadness on her heart binding up trust, belief, and joy in her father and even in herself. She will have to tear down the cobwebs in order to trust, in order to believe, and in order to find her joy. We have to do the same thing.

Open our hearts and take a peak. How many cobwebs of disappointment are covering things? Cobwebs are strong. Cobwebs immobilize things. How many of our dreams are caught in the cobwebs of disappointment?

We need to realize two things:

1. God can’t be disappointed so we have to stop telling ourselves that we have let God down.

2. We can’t accomplish all that God has for us if we are wrapped in cobwebs of disappointment.

Look in your closet. What cobwebs are covering your dreams? It’s time to clean my friend. Let the disappointment go. God is not disappointed in anything you have done but see how disappointment can tie you up? God is bigger then any cobweb. Allow Him to wash them away. We ache to understand God’s direction for our lives but in order for the light to shine through us we have to clean out the cobwebs.

If we were able to know everything, could be everywhere, and not be surprised by anything then we couldn’t be disappointed. But we can’t (know everything), we aren’t (everywhere) and we are (disappointed) because… we aren’t God.

God Can't...(part 1)

2010-03-11T06:47:00.000-05:00

Have you heard about how powerful God is? It is hard to wrap my head around the love that God has for me. Having my daughter showed me a glimpse of my heavenly Father's love but still hard to grasp.

God is all powerful. God is love. God knows everything. God can do anything.

I have been mulling over a different aspect of who God is lately and instead of asking myself what God can do, instead I begin thinking about what God can't do.

God can't... be surprised.

I cannot surprise God. You cannot surprise God. The world in all it's confusion and chaos does not surprise God.

(You cannot look at Lucille Ball and not smile.)

Looking at the world, at the big picture, it's easier to say, "God knows everything" but I have to look inward, at my heart, my past, and my life and accept that God does know everything that I have done, am doing, or will do. No surprises for Him.

He knew that I would have an abortion. He knew that I would get married and get divorced twice. He knew that I would run from Him. He KNEW when I would stop running.

He knew that I would argue with a friend last week. He knew that I would pray outloud during bootcamp every night in a barracks of 80 women while we all wondered if we had made a huge mistake by joining the Navy. He knew that I 20 years later I would pray with someone while she accepted Jesus Christ into her heart. He knew that I would say something that would hurt someone's feelings in a moment of anger. He knew that yesterday I would have a conversation with my mother that had been coming for 20 years that both of us were afraid to talk about.

God provided for all of these situations. He works ALL things for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28). All things. He can do that because God can't be surprised. He doesn't sit on his throne and facepalm when we do something wrong. The angels do not scramble around under red alert trying to regroup when we decide to do things our way instead of God's way.

If you are debating this whole "God thing". If you just aren't sure about this whole Christianity thing, I understand. There is a lot of information about how wonderful God is. It is all true but can be hard to accept in a cynical world.

I encourage you to take some time and think about what God can't do. Perhaps by looking at it from a different angle you will understand. Know that no matter what you have done, haven't done, said, haven't said, you never once shocked, dismayed, or alarmed God because...

God can't be surprised.

No sin too great.

2010-03-03T05:59:00.000-05:00

Psalms 32

We are taking a journey right now with my church. A “Walk to the Cross” where we are discussing the things that happened prior to Jesus being crucified and his resurrection. God is the God of second, third and fourth chances, check out what He did with Peter.

Martha Fry, our pastor’s wife, has a blog where she is interviewing people and how God has given them 2nd chances (or more). I was honored to be asked but what we talked about was not easy.

We talked about my abortion and how that impacted my life. How I didn’t think that God could ever forgive me. I didn’t think I could ever forgive myself. I kept silent.

When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
4 For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
Selah

At the time of my abortion all I could think about was I was single, no job, no future. What would everyonethink? The world tells you it is just tissue, not “real” but scripture says different,

“For I knit you together in your mother’s womb”. (Psalms 139:13).

I made a decision that would impact my life forever. Depression, suicidal thoughts, mood disorders, emptiness, a shadowed existence. I bought the lies of Satan. God wouldn’t forgive me.

If I steal, if I lie, if I cheat, even if I kill. The world says they are different and punishes accordingly, but God says all is sin and sin separates us from Him.

Satan does not want you to know that God forgives all. He wants to convince you that YOUR sin is too much for God. That is a lie. Someone spoke the truth into my heart. Someone spoke about her abortion and that God forgave her and gave me hope. His timing, not mine. Perfect. God’s love poured in. No more secrets.

5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you

and did not cover up my iniquity.

I said, "I will confess

my transgressions to the LORD "—

and you forgave

the guilt of my sin.

God loves you. NO MATTER WHAT. Confess your sins to Him, Ask for His forgiveness, and Accept His love. There is a life that is sweeter then you will ever know just waiting to be lived. Do not give the darkness one more minute of your life but walk in the light.

1 Blessed is he

whose transgressions are forgiven,

whose sins are covered.

2 Blessed is the man

whose sin the LORD does not count against him

and in whose spirit is no deceit.

God's children are walking around in darkness believing that God couldn't love them. I know because I was there. There is nothing you can do that God cannot bring good from. Please, if you carry the pain of abortion get help. Email me at leigh at leighfrance dot com and I will send you more information. Allow me to pray for you. Leave a comment or email me. Do not walk another day in the dark.

God,
Thank you for all that you have given us. It is impossible to truly realize the gift You gave when you sent your son to die. To pay the price for our sins, no matter what they are is a gift beyond all comprehension. God your children need you so much. Your daughters are hurting and needing to know that they are forgiven. God I pray for peace and understanding that once confessed ALL sin is wiped away. Pour your peace and love onto all who call on you today my God and help each one to step out of the darkness and into Your light.

Amen.

Hello old friends

2010-03-02T06:41:00.000-05:00

Yes it's been a while. It's ironic how things that are vital in our lives get pushed aside when things that "seem important" but really are not crowd them out. I have allowed that to happen recently and even though I knew it was going on I felt helpless to stop it. I normally get up very early and spend some quiet time with God, praying, reading, journaling, and hopefully just listening, and then I write, most of the time it's a blog entry about what's going on in our lives at that moment. But I got tired and I allowed a warm bed to keep me away.   I didn't want to get up. I was still waking up but instead of getting up I'd say to myself, "just five more minutes", doze back off and then an hour had passed and it was time to get ready for work. Not just one morning, but two, then three, and soon many days had passed.

The impact of this? So much more then I realized.

I haven't gotten my time with God like I need it. My days have been a shadow of what they were. My nights not restful and satan is prowling around seeking to steal, kill and destroy and I'm not equipped to fight like I should be. I know what I need to do. I know that God has given me the armor and the tools to fight the good fight. I had a choice to make every morning. God didn't dump me out of bed (nod to boot camp days) and scream and yell for me to get up.  He woke me up and invited me to spend time with Him but gave me the choice. He will not go where He is not welcome and He will not make Himself the priority.

I have to make Him the priority.

When the blog has been dark it's because I'm not willing to do what I know I should.   Does that mean that I need to shut the blog down, delete all my writings and consider myself a failure? Satan would like me to think so. He would like me to quit. He would like nothing more then for me to stop, to admit defeat and walk away from what God is working in my heart. But I know more now then I knew before. I understand a little more about my Father and what He would have for me, and so I can say those two little words that brings joy to my heart...

...But God...

Every morning during this God has woken me up like clockwork. He showed up every day. I was the one who didn't sit down with Him. My southern upbringing cringes at the thought of Him knocking and me going to the door and shutting it in His face but that's what I did. God knows what I need and He has been waiting patiently for me to realize it as well.

So the lights are slowly coming back on in my heart and in my creative flow and will show up eventually, when it's time, here.  Today it did, tomorrow it might. But I realized something. I need to write, not just because I want to but because God has placed a passion in my heart.

The past few weeks have been a huge learning process and I pray it will add more to my writing because I know it has added more to my faith and my understanding. That's what walking with God through this life is all about. To learn and to grow closer to Him, to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, and even fail but as long as you GET BACK UP then God still wants to use you. So I'm up, I'm out of bed and the dark is lifting. Thank you God for loving me even in the dark.

Too much to say, don't know where to start

2010-02-23T06:02:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been in a place where things are just going so fast, in so many directions that you just want to bury yourself under the covers of your bed and wait for the ride to be over?

I'm doing that right now. LOL. Some is self-induced and some is outside of me. Things that I have no control over and things that I do. Unfortunately, when I start getting too busy my writing suffers. It's interesting to me that the major thing that feeds my soul, that sustains me day to day and that I love is the first thing that "dries up" when life gets too crazy.

It's not that I don't have anything to write about, it's mainly that satan is trying to get a foothold. He's been doing that a lot lately and I feel like my eyes have been opened to it for a reason, but we will come back to that at a later date.

Right now I want to encourage my readers to check out a blog http://www.karendawkins.blogspot.com/ Karen is an amazing woman of God who inspires and challenges me. I believe that God places people in our lives to help us travel down the segment of the narrow road where we are at that specific time in our life. Karen is traveling this with me and is giving me much to think about, chew over, and process. Her blog pours fresh words into my soul, fresh insight into my mind and helps me fall deeper and deeper in love with my Jesus every day. I'm not putting Karen on a pedastal and she certainly doesn't expect it, but I do know that writing and blogging and pouring our souls out on paper (or pixels) can be challenging and even lonely, and so for now, while I'm wading through the muck and mire stop by Karen's, grab a cup of coffee, and read a bit. It's time well spent.

What's love got to do with it?

2010-02-17T06:57:00.001-05:00

Satan is trying to diffuse the biggest weapon God has placed in our arsenal. Love. Follow the link and read the following passage 1 Corinthians 13 but come back!!!! Below are the first 3 verses. Most of us skip those. I know I did until God opened my eyes recently.

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

Many of us, who have studied and read these verses, begin at verse 4 with “Love is patient” stop at “Love never fails” and that is so true but God is giving us something so important in the beginning and the end of this passage.

1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

Speaking in the tongues of men and of angels. Men (the world) can speak pretty words. They can entice, encourage, compliment, and give assurance. The tongue of angels, in my opinion, are “pretty words” music, poetry, praise and exhortation. Don’t we hear those things over and over again throughout the day? In the media, the songs on the radio or on our Ipod, the books that we read or download to our Kindle, the movies that we watch or rent from Red box. Over and over again our brains are saturated with beautiful words that sound like love, but do they contain love? And bring it closer, how much of what we speak on a daily basis contains love? The way you speak to your spouse or your child? What you mumble under your breath in traffic or waiting in line at the grocery store? Are you a clanging cymbal or do your words flow like a soothing breeze over the hearts of those around you?

2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

Wisdom, prophecy, understanding what is to come, discernment, and faith. All things that we can correlate with God and so many “see” as Christianity, but we can easily be misled. There have been many prophets, preachers, teachers and proclaimers of Christ who were “wise”, who had “faith”, but the only love they felt was for themselves. I am not sitting in judgment of anyone, that is not my place, but we must ask the question of our spiritual leaders and of ourselves, is our wisdom and prophecy and faith focused on furthering our own agenda or is it supported by a love for Our Heavenly Father?

3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.

Surrendering my body to the flames? Sacrificing for someone or for a belief. Well, that should be proof of what a “good Christian” I am. No, it's not.

You can give all you have, but why are you doing it? We have to check our hearts and be honest with ourselves because God already knows your heart. Are you “giving all you have” so that others will be impressed? Are you sacrificing and surrendering so that you can look like a “super Christian?” to those around you? Are you doing all that you are doing because you believe that you can be "good enough" that you can "give enough" or that your works will "be enough". It's not good enough, you will never "give enough" and you will never be able to "do enough".

I truly believe that the only way we can love, truly love the way 1 Corinthians instructs us, is to have God living in us and therefore through us. We cannot do it on our own. We don't have the strength, the power, the capacity to love, truly love. But God does. Watch this. This is from scripture, not embellished, not interpreted, just truth from His word. He's talking to us. The love that we are all searching for, it's here my friend.

That is love. We will talk about the rest of this passage tomorrow.

Thin Places

2010-02-12T18:28:00.001-05:00

This post below is my entry to win a Kindle based upon Mary DeMuth's newest book, "Thin Places." To enter you have to write a 259 word essay (the cost of a Kindle) on a thin place in your life. You can enter too if you're interested.

What is a Thin Place? "those times where the division between this world and the eternal fades; they are snatches of holy ground, tucked into the corners of our world, where we might just catch a glimpse of eternity."

I experienced a thin place this week. I had been disobedient to God, not intentionally at first, but over time, 6 months time, it became true disobedience and I suffered the repercussions. The fallout from my disobedience was escalating all around me. I refused to do the one thing that would fix it, and that was to tell someone that they had said something that had hurt me. Our words are the most powerful weapon that we have in our arsenal. Satan had used someone words to wound me and God was aware and had given me the weapons to fight what Satan was doing, but I would not follow God’s instruction. I was going to do it my way, the way the world said, and just “get over it” but the wound would not heal. It festered and spread, and poisoned, first the relationship with my friend, and then those around us.

This week the band-aid was ripped off, the wound exposed, and the poison removed. My precious friend had no idea that Satan had gotten a foothold that grew into a stronghold. By my being honest God destroyed the stronghold. Looking into my friend’s eyes and hearing her laughter and feeling her hand in mine God healed the wound and even rewarded my obedience (finally) by replacing all that hurt and pain with joy, and love, and gratefulness, and forgiveness of my disobedience.

When we walk as God instructs us, we are allowed the thin places, glimpses of glory, to cling to when the world gets hard.

Our New Normal

2010-02-10T05:39:00.000-05:00

We are going to Duke Children’s Hospital today. We will be there at 7:00 a.m. and I’m not sure how long we will be there. It doesn’t matter. We could stay an hour or two, or if they need us to, we will be there until 9:00 p.m. It’s the Children’s Hospital annual radiothon. Seven years ago this month, we made a trip to Duke on a Friday afternoon.

In looking back I guess I noticed that something was “not right” around Christmas. Normally any 6-year-old would have been bouncing off the walls, but McKenna took a nap halfway through opening her presents. She just seemed to be so tired. A few days later she was at a friend's house and had a nose bleed. Not just any nose bleed, but one that wouldn’t stop. I called her pediatrician the next day, a Wednesday.

They drew some blood and sent us home with an antibiotic and instructions “not to worry.” So I didn’t worry…until Friday.

On Friday she went to school and I went to work. Around 1:00 in the afternoon I got the call. It was her pediatrician. She asked, “Where is McKenna?” I told her that she was at school. The doctor said, “Go get her right now. You need to go to Duke Hospital, they are waiting for you.” She said, “We think that McKenna has leukemia. We just got her blood work back and she has no platelets, no red blood cells and very few white blood cells.” I didn’t know what half that meant. I don’t remember much of the conversation beyond the words “leukemia and they are waiting for you at Duke.”

We walked into Duke Children’s Hospital at 3:00 p.m. They ordered more blood work and we waited. The clinic emptied out, and we waited. At about 6:00 she came back in and said that McKenna’s blood work was concerning and they wanted to do a bone marrow biopsy. Now.

So they applied some cream to her hip, and started an IV and gave her some medicine to keep her calm. They put a Disney movie in and they let me hold her hand while the doctor took the marrow. I remember watching her place something so small, but a part of my baby, into a tube to be tested and being so scared. And then we waited.

We found out that night that it wasn’t leukemia but we knew we had a seriously ill little girl. For months, every Friday, we spent at Duke getting blood drawn and waiting to see if her platelets had started trending upward again. She was diagnosed with aplastic anemia and her life changed completely. No more learning to ride her bike, no more trampoline, no more gymnastics. No more running and playing. No platelets meant that she could bleed internally just from a simple fall and she could get very sick over something very common, like a virus.

A few months later her doctor asked if McKenna could go to camp. The hospital provides camp for a week, free of charge, to patient’s that wouldn’t normally get to go to camp.

My six-year-old, critically ill child, going to camp??

Her doctor assured me that she would be with her and would be keeping a very close eye and honestly, we just didn’t know if she would ever have the opportunity again.

So we packed her bags and in July she left to spend 6 days just being a kid, surrounded by nurses and doctors, residents and interns, and she got to play and laugh, and yes, she was homesick, and so was her mommy. But she had fun and she made friends, and for a little while it wasn’t about test results and what she couldn’t do anymore. It was about laughter, and playing games, and being just like everyone else, around other kids who had to take medicine and get blood draws. But for a week, they were just like everyone else, and if they had to rest, that was okay, or if they needed a breathing treatment, that was okay, or if they got hurt and everything had to stop for a bit, that was okay too and no one stared, or made fun, or thought they were weird, because it was everyone’s normal.

She came home, tanned, tired, but happy in her heart and with camp songs, and friends and memories. Precious memories. And we have done this every summer since for 7 years.

Eventually her platelets started to go back up, her red blood cells and white blood cells increased. We still have go to Duke to have her bone marrow checked and blood draws but right now, she is doing great. I still get apprehensive if she seems overly tired and I tend to be a bit over protective, but that’s our normal.

Today though, we get to go and tell a bit of our story. We get to talk about how much Duke Children’s Hospital means to us and how much we love Camp K. We get to help raise money so that the kid who is walking into Duke today and entering into a new normal can learn camp songs, make friends and bank memories to hold on to while they wait for the next bone marrow biopsy, the next CAT scan result, or for the next blood draw.

The medicine is important, the research is important, but the memories last forever. Thank you Duke Children’s and thank you Camp Kaleidoscope for giving us the memories to cherish for a lifetime. And thank you Bill, Lynda, and Vanna and all of the volunteers at 101.5 FM for doing the radiothon and helping the kids.

So if our story has touched your heart consider making a donation today, for McKenna and all the other kids who have a new normal that they live with every day but for a week each summer they get to go to camp and be “just a kid.” This overprotective, extremely grateful mommy thanks you.

Radical Obedience

2010-02-09T06:00:00.001-05:00

I tried to be obedient when I was growing up. I listened to what my parents said and obeyed (most of the time). As a young child I obeyed out of awe and some amount of fear (they were bigger then me) and as I became a teenager I tested the boundaries and in some respects flat out disregarded my parents instructions. I was radically disobedient. I didn’t understand that my parents were on my side. That other then God my parents loved me more then anyone and that they wanted me to be happy. They were old and old-fashioned and didn’t understand what it was like to be me. And yes mom, you were right, I do understand now that I am a mom.

Obedience means to obey or the willingness to obey.

Radical is “departing markedly from the usual or customary, extreme”.

Moses and Noah were both radically obedient.

John the Baptist was radically obedient.

Mary, David, Saul/Paul, Timothy, Stephen, Mother Theresa, Billy Graham,
Matt and Martha Fry, all have been radically obedient in their own time.

Wait, who are Matt and Martha Fry?

My pastor and his wife.

Radically obedient? How?

Where our church stands now was a tobacco field.

But my pastor had a vision and a desire to be radically obedient. Was it easy? No. Are there still struggles? Yes. Are there times when things happen that others may not understand? Yes.

But that is what being radical is all about.

Listening to what God is telling you to do and DOING IT no matter what “the world” says.

Matt Fry was willing to be radically obedient to our Heavenly Father and Martha, his wife, was willing to be obedient to her husband’s calling and vision. They both trusted God completely and it was through that obedience Matt and Martha opened a door for hundreds of people to come to know God and to understand salvation and redemption. Because Matt was willing to obey God’s instruction for his life, even if he didn’t understand it, God, through him, is able to reach people that would still be walking around in the dark, lost, and in despair.

I know this to be true because I was one of the lost. My husband and daughter were surrounded in that darkness as well. Did we know what was missing at the time? No. Did we have any idea a little over 3 years ago that we would be making the changes and taking the steps we are today? No, not in a million years. But you know what?

God did.

God knew that what was once woods, and then a field growing tobacco and cotton, would one day be a house where Christians would be planted and would grow and here, 10 years later lives are being changed, impacted, marriages restored, children and grandparents giving their lives to Jesus, the harvest is ripe.

Is our church perfect? No, thank God, if it was, they wouldn’t let sinners in and then it wouldn’t be a church, it would be a country club, and I don’t get to love my Jesus at the country club. If perfect is what you are looking for you will not find it in ANY church. But what you will find in churches that are living for God are people that are radically obedient. Not just in the church that I love, but in churches all over the world, God’s cool like that, He can be everywhere at once, as long as He’s welcome.

Are you obeying the call God has placed on your heart to become radically obedient? It can start small my friend. Saying yes to daily quiet time. If you have never had that with our Father, then this is radical obedience. Are you faithful with your tithe? Giving your tithe, first fruits, for a lot of us that is radical obedience. Are you serving at your church? Opening a door, helping with the children, parking the cars, these are all forms of obedience and if it is stepping out of your comfort zone, then my friend it is radical. And once God sees that you will be obedient to Him, then what He asks will stretch you and you will grow and you will be working WITH God to further His kingdom.

Not everyone is called to start a church. Not everyone is called into the mission field.

But

Everyone is called to be obedient. Make it radical and see what God will do.

Thank you Matt and Martha Fry, thank you staff and leaders, and volunteers at C3 church for opening a door, pouring a cup of coffee, giving a hug, saying a prayer, singing a song, and just wrapping your arms around every person that walks through the door. Because you each have said "I will do it" God’s love is growing and touching lives in ways you will never know this side of heaven. All because you were radically obedient to Him.

I am not worthy.

2010-02-08T06:04:00.001-05:00

I have heard that a lot in the past few weeks. Satan has whispered it in my ear. Friends that God has put into my path, people that are hurting or have made mistakes, stumbled and even fallen, they too cry out, “I am not worthy of God.”
And they are right.

None of us are worthy of God. Not one.

Mother Theresa was not worthy of God. Billy Graham was not worthy of God. John the Baptist, the 12 disciples, Mary or Moses, none were worthy.

(25As John was completing his work, he said: 'Who do you think I am? I am not that one. No, but he is coming after me, whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. Acts 13:25)

No matter how great, no matter how small. No matter if we cure cancer, fix the national deficit and balance the budget, feed every mouth, shelter every body, and adopt every orphan.

It still won’t matter; we won’t be good enough.

How good we are makes no difference because we cannot be good enough. We will always mess up. We will always fall short. Which is why we need Jesus.

I have a debt I owe. It’s more then I can ever repay but Jesus has paid it in full. There are so many people walking around who cannot put their head around that. They doubt their salvation, they doubt that God could love them, they don’t believe that He could love them. But this is a lie that Satan has planted in our heads.

It is impossible to grasp the enormity of our God because we believe that God views us as we view each other. God doesn’t work that way. You need to take Him out of the box, break down the walls and open up the door to your heart.

Think with me for a minute about a person in your life that you love. Just picture that person standing in front of you. It could be someone living or dead, a child, a parent, a spouse, but just one person. Think about how your heart fills when you think of that person. Think about how much you miss that person if they are gone, how your heart hurts if they have passed. Taking this journey right now might be painful, but it’s important, because my friend, no matter how much you love that person you are thinking about, GOD LOVES YOU MORE.

Think about that for a minute.

And then accept it.

It is simple, but it’s not easy, but I promise, it is worth it, and so are you, through Jesus.

It cannot help if you don't take it.

2010-02-01T06:36:00.000-05:00

I'm not feeling well today. I think I have a bad cold (I've never met a good cold though). I woke up several times during the night with pressure and pain and now my neck is extremely stiff. When I got up this morning I decided I needed to take some medicine. I am blessed to be able to work from home and I felt like I needed to find some relief this morning so that I could focus on my job.

I went and got some medicine from the medicine cabinet and made my tea and put the kettle on. I came into the office and started my quiet time when the kettle went off. As I walked back to the kitchen I started to wonder when the medicine would kick in and I would feel better. I debated if I needed to take something different, stronger, or maybe this wasn't just sinues/cold and something that would require a physician. All this as I'm going into the kitchen and preparing my oatmeal.

I came back into the office still focusing on how long it would take before I could get some relief when I sat back down at my desk and saw it. The medicine that I had gotten out of the cabinet over an hour ago, sitting on my desk, I hadn't taken it. No wonder it wasn't working.

If you have been reading this blog long at all, you probably already know where I am going with this. The medication was not at fault. I was because it couldn't do it's job until I used it, until I had opened it and taken it in.

Yeah, just like Jesus. How long has it been since you have opened up your bible? Is it still sitting on the coffee table and are you dusting it once a week? It's not going to do you a bit of good unless you open it up and take it in.

What about our Heavenly Father? He sent His son but unless you open your heart to Him and accept Him, take Him in, He cannot do you one bit of good.

God is the great physician, healer, and the giver of life, but He cannot work if we do not believe in Him and just because you buy the medicine and put it in your cabinet, or even open the package and put it on your desk, it cannot do what it was created to do unless it is inside you.

Friends, we cannot do what God has created us to do unless He is working inside us. So do me a favor, take your medicine.

Today's verse:

23Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom, and healing every disease and sickness among the people. (Matthew 4:23)

Fasting to the finish

2010-01-28T10:28:00.000-05:00

We are only a few days away from finishing out our 21 days of fasting. I encourage you to take a step out of your comfort zone if you did not fast the entire 21 days and fast the last three, a true Daniel's fast. I think I left some Ezekial bread and organic OJ at Lowe's food but you might want to go grab it before the snow.

If you have been fasting over the past 19+ days, wonderful. It has been an experience that I will never forget and that I will add to my arsenal of spirtual weapons to use just like the prayer.

To me it was amazing how often my thoughts turned to food, and just how difficult it was to push beyond that. I seemed to be constantly hungry when I knew good and well I wasn't but Satan wanted to continue to distract and play mind games and keep me from spending time with my Father.

But God still showed up. Even when I reached for that Ezekial bread and all natural peanut butter for a snack, again...and I have gotten clarity to some questions that I had and reassurance to a leading that I was feeling on my heart and you know, maybe there is something to all this prayer and fasting and giving (the three responsibilities of a Christian).

I've said it over and over again on my blog, God loves each of His children and longs to walk through life with each of us. Praying, giving, and now fasting are wonderful ways to deepen that walk and color your life with vibrant, extrodinary color.

Again, if you haven't fasted at all, I double dog dare you...(ok, that was to make my WH laugh), but seriously I challenge you, take the step today, set aside the sweets, the meats, and the dairy for the next 3 days and see what happens.

Leave a comment if you are up for the challenge and we will pray each other to the finish line.

In the doghouse

2010-01-26T06:19:00.000-05:00

28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6: 28-34)

I realized something this morning, I am much like the pagans mentioned in verse 32 “running after all these things” when my Heavenly Father knows that I need them.

I had a hard time sleeping last night. We have new carpet, which I am very thankful for, and we have a dog, which right now I am trying to be thankful for. The dog is still confused about where she needs to go potty and so she is sleeping in a crate at night. Let me rephrase that, she is sitting in and whining in a crate at night. She needs to learn control, boundaries, and that there is a place for everything, including where that all potty needs to be outside and not on the new carpet.

So she has been whining and crying all night. She doesn’t like her crate and I don’t understand why. It’s comfortable, it’s big enough, it’s warm and dry in the house, and we provide all of her needs, food, water, even a cute sweater if she gets cold (she doesn’t like to wear them), but it doesn’t matter, she doesn’t like where she is during the night, so she cries and whines to get out. And I don’t get any sleep.

So I got up at 3:45 a.m. for the final time and thought, I could spend some one on one time with my heavenly Father, just me and Him for an hour or two before I had to go to work.

And so I walked into the kitchen and then…

I needed to make tea so I put the kettle on, and then I went and got my laptop because I left my Bible out in the car, and then I couldn’t find my journal, so I had to log on to the computer, and I had to check my email, and then I went to check my Facebook, and then I had to check my bank balance, and then I got distracted with the news, and then…

And now it’s 5:30 and I have to be at work in 30 minutes. I got very little time with my Father this morning. I was worrying about what I would eat. I was worrying about what I would drink, and while I wasn’t thinking about what I would wear I was worried about money and would we have enough to cover the rest of the week.

I don’t want to be “like the pagans”. I don’t want to run after all the things of this world, but I do and then I wonder why my soul cries out in the dark just like our puppy in her crate. God wants me to go to Him first. He wants me to give Him the first fruits of everything, including my day and after all He has given me, why do I chose things that are of this world? I want to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, but the enemy doesn’t want that. Satan will use distractions and business and even good things to keep me from God’s best. I am hearing that over and over again so God really must want to make sure I hear it.

Trinket, our dog, has all of her needs provided for her. She has food and water, shelter, toys; all she has to do is be a dog. We have rules and boundaries that she needs to understand and follow but once she figures them out or maybe I should say, once I figure out how to help her understand and retain them, then we can have a healthy, enjoyable relationship. But right now, she cries and whines and she doesn’t like where she is. She just needs to be obedient and let me know (her master) when she needs something instead of making a mess and having to suffer the consequences. (No, I don’t beat her; don’t get all PETA on me.)

Yeah, wow moment for me too.

My Master wants me to come to Him first. I have to stop putting the world first and wondering why things aren’t working out like I want them to. The world doesn’t care about my wants and desires, or what is best for me because the world doesn’t love, therefore it has no capacity for care. God cares because God loves. It’s just that simple. When I allow all the other “stuff” to interrupt my God time it’s no wonder I have a mess and therefore suffer the consequences. I don’t have to run after anything. I just need to sit with Him and listen and stop whining and crying in the crate but come out and be obedient to my Master and His word and “not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself”.

I’m glad that God doesn’t sleep because I would have kept Him up all night whining and crying from my own crate. He has boundaries to keep us safe, to keep our lives clean and pure, and to help prevent us from making a mess. (Hmmm, sound familiar?) I just need to stop worrying and accept, embrace and learn so that He and I can have the relationship He wants for us to have, the best.

I guess I’ve redefined “being in the doghouse”.

God, I am sorry that I pushed you aside yet again this morning. Help me to be better disciplined with my time and my focus. Keep me from the temptation of the business of this world and all it’s emptiness and instead draw me closer to You because I know that you love me more than the lilies of the field, Your word tells us that and I thank you for loving me enough to give me the boundaries, the rules, and the instruction to keep my life safe and without worry. I love you God. Amen.

Whatever it takes attitude.

2010-01-22T06:35:00.002-05:00

I was reading Genesis 22 this morning. About Abraham being commanded by God to sacrifice his son. Whenever I had read that in the past I always felt in awe of Abraham’s obedience to God and wondered if I could have done the same. But I dug a little deeper and I read again and I prayed for understanding and friends, I believe I have been missing a very important part of this entire story.

Take a look at the first part of this chapter with me.

1 Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"
"Here I am," he replied.
2 Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."
3 Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."
6 Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, 7 Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"
"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.
"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"
8 Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

Verse 1, God calls to Abraham. God knew where Abraham was, He had not lost him but this entire chapter is about being obedient from beginning to end, and so from the beginning God gave Abraham the choice to answer Him. How many times do we hear God say our name, try to get our attention, and we ignore it, go on about our day, shrug it off? God wants our obedience to come out of our choice.

Verse 2, God commands Abraham to take his son to be sacrificed as a burnt offering. God knew it was Abraham’s only son, He had given Him Isaac in the first place. God knew that Abraham loved his son and still he asked for the ultimate sacrifice.

And here, for me, this is what I want.

“Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey.” (Genesis 22:3)

He didn’t wait, “God are you sure?” He didn’t debate. He didn’t put it off. The NEXT MORNING. He didn’t wait to make sure. He didn’t try to negotiate with God. As a teenager God was more like a genie in a bottle instead of my heavenly Father. I would negotiate, “God if you would just _____ then I will be nice to my brother, never tell a lie, never ______.” Newsflash, God is not a genie in a bottle, just in case you were wondering.

Back to the story…

Abraham trusted God no matter what but Abraham also knew that God was more. God loved Abraham. God understood how Abraham felt about his son. But Abraham also loved God and he had faith that both he and Isaac would return from the mountain.

Look at what Abraham says to his servants. “Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then WE will come back to you.’

Again this is shown when Isaac asks his father where the lamb was for the sacrifice. Abraham tells him, “God himself will provide the lamb...”

Imagine every step Abraham is taking up the mountain not only is his heart heavy with what he has been instructed to do, but he has to climb a mountain as well. Every step he takes over the rocks and dirt taking him higher and higher. Hearing his son’s voice, watching him take each step beside him, soaking up every minute because even though he loves Isaac, Abraham loves God more.

Abraham had a “whatever it takes’ mentality. We don’t offer burning sacrifices to God now; the ultimate sacrifice was given 2000 years ago when God gave His son as the ultimate sacrifice. Abraham was speaking prophetically when he said that God would provide the lamb. And by the way, Isaac carried the wood, as Jesus carried the cross when He made the ultimate sacrifice.

Whatever it takes.

Do I have that mindset? Am I willing to listen and act immediately on direction from God? Do I have the relationship with God like Abraham did that when He calls my name, I know hear it and respond immediately, “Here I am.”

And whatever He asks, the nudge to buy a cup of coffee for a perfect stranger, as simple as speaking to that girl across the room, buying a meal for a family, giving sacrificially, volunteering to help out at church, to the more radical, doing mission work, traveling around the world, whatever it takes but being obedient.

Each nudge, no matter how small, is like a post-it note from God to His children letting them know that He loves them and that He’s there. And by being willing to do “whatever it takes” you get to be a part of God working in the lives of others and in turn He will be working even more in your life. The reward you get is better then any three wishes from a genie in a bottle.

It starts with a cup of coffee (or tea if your fasting) but the more you listen, the more you hear and as long as you know your answer will be “whatever it takes God” then the life you lives can be a glorious walk with your Heavenly Father doing whatever it takes.

If you want to find out what happened to Abraham and Isaac, check out Genesis, chapter 22.

God, I love you more then chicken.

2010-01-19T15:48:00.000-05:00

Today is day 10 of the fast. It has certainly been an awakening. Our pastor’s wife, Martha Fry spoke this weekend on the body, and how the body was a temple. I wrote on it yesterday here.

One of the ways I have been caught off guard in this fast is the non-stop obsession with food. Maybe that’s just me but the fact that I cannot have certain things crops up a lot. The reason for fasting is very apparent because when you deny the body something the body will remind you of it constantly (king stomach). The secret though is to take that thought and turn it to God and the things that you are praying about.

I have felt constantly hungry (head hunger) but I know that it’s all “king stomach” wanting my attention. The caffeine withdraw is gone and I certainly have plenty of food to eat. (This is what I picture every time I hear king stomach. yes, he freaks me out too.)

Martha encouraged the church to at least do the last 3 days of the fast but she did mention that those are usually the hardest and to try for 5 instead. I didn’t hear much from God in those first few days because my body was in such shock that I was just trying to wade through the fasting brain. So if you are wanting to fast and have never done it before, might I strongly reiterate what Martha said and that you fast the last five days. That way you can push through the headache and body shock and come out on the other side before it’s time to go back to pizza, sushi and fried chicken and coffee.

I have had a couple of ah-ha moments though in the past week. There is a lot of talk about what we are missed eating, what we can't wait to eat after the fast, and there just seemed to be an enormous focus on the food. I have become hyper aware of the amount of food related activities, promotion, commercials, websites, books, etc. surround us daily. It’s almost like food has become it’s own idol in our lives, ranking right up there with money, sex, and beauty. Food has it’s own industry and it’s own language and it’s own culture.

I had to push beyond the food cravings to get to the other side in order to pray and speak to my heavenly Father because I do love God more than coffee, more than chocolate and more than chicken (hey, my own C3, lol). I have learned so much and am anxious to see what the next 11 days will bring as I lean in to hear from God and take God out of the box and put my appetite into one. A very small box. I want the cravings that I have for things of this world to be transformed into a craving for a closer relationship with my heavenly Father. To crave, to want, to desire to be closer with Him. I pray that is one hunger that never gets satisfied but that I constantly feed. Lean in my friends, His word are sweet and filling.

The Body is a temple (the rest of the story)

2010-01-18T08:19:00.007-05:00

If you are coming over from Martha’s blog welcome! We are on day 9 of our 21 day journey and I am excited about the next 12 days.

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

I wrote on Martha’s blog today about the fact that the fast is like cleaning house, getting rid of a lot of the junk in our temple. The New Testament talks about our bodies being the temple of the Holy Spirit. When we accept Christ as our Savior the Holy Spirit comes and resides in us. I felt that I needed to dig a little deeper and share a bit more about my own struggles with my temple. It's all about being honest and real, and I made a promise to God, myself and my readers (hi mom) when I started this journey with my writing that I would also be honest, no matter what. The world is full of people that want others to think they have it all figured out but that's not me. But I know who does and He is who this blog is for, to share with people that no matter what we have done or mistake we have made, God loves us, God forgives, and God wants to be the center of our life, He even gave us a temple so that He could live IN us. So, read on for the rest of the story...

I, like many others, have not honored my body. I have not taken care of it like I should have. I have smoked. I have been obese. I have not exercised. I have dishonored the temple. No wonder there have been so many times I have felt a disconnect with my heavenly Father.

I smoked for many years and felt convicted over and over again that I needed to quit. Finally, in my quiet time one day, I asked God to please fill me with the Holy Spirit. I felt God telling me, “Sweetheart, the Holy Spirit doesn’t smoke.” Ouch. It’s a gross habit and one that I am ashamed of. I do not want anything to keep me from walking as close to God as possible, so the cigarettes are gone and the temple is beginning to smell better and I’m not choking out the Holy Spirit.

My body was also abused due to my being overweight. This is a picture from a show I did a few years ago. ------>

I looked to food for comfort, and I ate when I was stressed, I ate when I was happy or celebrating something, and honestly, I just really enjoy eating. I made a decision three years ago to undergo surgery. The morning I went in for surgery I weighed 287 pounds. This isn’t a post about the good or bad of weight loss surgery, we can come back to that on another day. I was in pain from the extra 130+ pounds I was carrying. Go to the store, pick up two 50-pound bags of dog food and another 30-pound bag and carry that around for a few minutes. God knew I would not be able to obey His direction until the weight was gone. I had tried many different diets and eating plans and some had worked but I had never been able to keep the weight off. For me, surgery was great and I’m thankful I had it done.

We have to clean out the temple, our bodies, and make them as healthy as possible so that God can use us.

God cannot use me if I’m too exhausted to speak. God cannot use me if I’m unhealthy. God cannot use me if I am going to be depending on something else, such as food or cigarettes, for my comfort instead of Him.

<------ Me now. Looking back now it felt like I was buried in fat. I couldn't be who God wanted me to be, I couldn't be real, I couldn't be honest and so I kept my mouth shut by putting food in it or by puffing on a cigarette.

I am not getting on my high horse about overeating or smoking, all I am saying is, for me, I had to get the junk out of my body in order to fill it up with God’s best. God wants me to have His best every single day. Satan wants me to crowd it out with a cigarette when I’m stressed or an entire bag of double stuff Oreos when my feelings get hurt.

God wants me to come to Him when I’m stressed or worried and rest in His promise to provide for me. God wants me to focus on pleasing Him and not get upset or my feelings hurt by what others think.

Who am I living for, God or man? (Thanks Pastor Matt).

During the fast we have an opportunity to clean out the temple. To purge the body of all it’s impurities. To let go of things that we are using that comes between us and our relationship with our Heavenly Father. Have you given up whatever it is that is keeping you separated from the Heavenly Father? Is the need to have a relationship with Him more important then the relationship you are having with your refrigerator or with the Marlboro Man (no reference to Pioneer Woman's husband)?

Open the door and the windows to your soul, get the junk out and make room for the Holy Spirit to reside in a sweet smelling, healthy, and energetic you. Honor God with your body.

God,
You are an amazing and forgiving Father who wants nothing but the best for all of His children. Help us each to make our bodies into the temples that are worthy of your presence so that we may follow Your leading and live the life You wish for us. I pray for each person that is on a journey to clean out their temple and create a home for You. Amen.

If there is something I can pray for you about please leave a comment or email me at leigh at leighfrance dot com.

Different ways of getting there, but all the same goal.

2010-01-15T07:45:00.000-05:00

My heart has just been aching for the pain and suffering that is going on in Haiti right now. The reports coming from news websites are disturbing to say the least, but I have dug a little deeper. I wanted more then just the media’s input on what was going on so I did some of my own research.
Here is a before and after picture of the palace in Haiti to just give you an example of what has taken place.

This shows nothing of the complete devastation in the streets

Tara and Troy at http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com/ are keeping it real, raw and their messages are like looking through a window instead of through a cameraman’s lens. Tara is wonderful at speaking about what is needed and what is NOT needed right now. Stop by their blog and read what she has to say from the front lines.

Another blog, http://angelmissionshaiti.blogspot.com/ shows again how much God does love Haiti and ALL of His children by sending people to help, but how those same people rally together when everything looks so dark.

In the US many are wanting to know how they can help, what they can do, well friends, right now, the biggest, most overwhelming need for Haiti is money. They have no way to store things, shipping items there will cost money, and it’s just not the #1 priority right now, but our money can provide help in more ways then we can imagine. There are many organizations that are great, The Red Cross, Samaritan’s Purse, Doctor’s Without Borders and hundred’s more.

There are also many give-away’s going on in the blogosphere in order to raise money for Haiti. One is on Ree Drummond’s blog, The Pioneer Woman, http://thepioneerwoman.com/confessions/
Check out her blog and LEAVE A COMMENT. It’s important.

Also the tragedy in Haiti impacts even us here in Clayton, NC. There is a child in Haiti right now, like many children in Haiti, alone and waiting to be adopted. She has her forever home already in the works, and her parents are in the US, anxious and apprehensive as the wheels turn slowly to get to their daughter. Read more about Lovely here. http://www.karendawkins.blogspot.com/

On a local level, here in Clayton, NC, our church, like many others in around the world is mobilizing efforts and members to do more then just pray. Prayer is essential and I trust that we are all doing that, but many feel the urging of the Holy Spirit to do more. Collectively we can do so much more, and so Monday night, January 18th C3 will be having a night of prayer for Haiti. There will be churches throughout the country praying. I challenge you to come out, join your hearts and hands and your gifts in order to make a difference together. http://marthafry.org/?p=739

C3, with churches all over the country, will be collecting the following specific supplies.

LIST OF ITEMS NEEDED
Medications:

(These items can be purchased over the counter at any local drug store)
Aspirin
Tylenol
Motrin
Children’s and adult multi-vitamin
Benadryl
Neosporin or triple antibiotic
Oral re-hydration salts
Cough medications
There are more things listed on Martha’s website. Please go there for more information.

You can drop these supplies off at C3 starting today (Friday January 15 through January 24th). On Monday night, we will all come together to pray locally, as a county, as a state, as a region, as a nation for our brothers and sisters in Christ in Haiti. Will you join us?

Be careful what you pray for, you might just get it.

2010-01-14T21:51:00.000-05:00

Things have been pretty heavy and deep in the blog house lately. A lot going on and a lot of things on my heart. But I wanted to share something a little lighter but still amazing, at least it is in my opinion.

My pastor’s wife, Martha Fry, wrote a little while ago about “God cares about what we care about.” I thought it was a great post and having a daughter the same age I totally understood where she was coming from.

Well, I had an issue that dealt with my own sense of approval that I am frankly very embarrassed to admit.

We have a cute, cottage home, not large by any means, but over the past 8 years, two dogs, a cat, and a WH and DD, and just the multiple comings and going of life, plus a dog that is confused about exactly where she is supposed to go to relieve herself, the carpet had gotten bad. Okay, honestly, it was disgusting and I did not want anyone to come to our house because I was embarrassed by it. I know, I know, it doesn’t matter, people love you, they aren’t coming to judge you on your carpet, blah, blah, blah. I had heard it all, but I just knew that people would walk in the door and think horrible things about me due to our carpet. A woman and her home are connected in a visceral, love me, love our home.

But anyway….. (no I can never tell a short story, deal with it.)

So, I wanted to get some girlfriends together to talk about a book, “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” but I didn’t want to have it at our house. But God had other ideas. I kept getting this heaviness on my heart, nudging me, to open our home to my girlfriends. I finally woke up one morning about 3:00 a.m. and sat down in the living room, amidst the gross carpet, and just cried my eyes out and told God that yes, I would be obedient to what He had placed on my heart, but I did ask Him one thing. I said, “God, can I please have new carpet.”

Now, when I asked this I was being totally 100% real with my heavenly Father. I know there are so many other things in this world that are really huge obstacles, pain, and frustrations that people have and they cry out to God and I believe that God always answers, just perhaps not like what we thought. And as selfish and self-absorbed as I felt asking God for new carpet, I knew there was no way we could afford it but I also knew that I would have an extremely difficult time concentrating on my friends if I was worried about our home.

Well, anyway, I was obedient to God’s leading and I opened up our home, nasty carpet and all, and then, one evening, I noticed our kitchen floor was wonky (I love that word). I asked WH about it and he investigated and low and behold, there was a leak and not just any leak, but a major leak behind the refrigerator that had leaked into the dry wall and under the floor. The kitchen floor, which was the ONLY floor in the house that was in great shape. (Irony? ya think?) I admit I wondered if perhaps God had gotten my request mixed up with someone else.

We contacted a contractor, who came out and took a look. He then informed us that we would need to replace THE ENTIRE KITCHEN FLOOR. I thought I would faint right there.

But then…

He walked into our living room, and he pulled back the carpet, and low and behold, the flooring was ruined there too, and the carpet would have to be replaced.

I just started laughing and shook my head and said, “Thank you God.” Because it mattered to me, so it mattered to Him. He loves me.

So now we have a new kitchen floor, new carpet in our home, and I’m about to get new paint. It’s only taken 8 years. I’m still decorating challenged so I’m taping those same girlfriends that were coming over to have coffee to come with paintbrushes and laughter and our house will finally be a place that I want to call a home and a place that reminds me every day, with every step I take on our new carpet, how much God loves me.

Coffee Talk Chapter 5

2010-01-12T05:00:00.008-05:00

Coffee talk this past week was great. We covered two chapters and today we will talk about Chapter 5 “What Keeps Us from Saying Yes to God”. Lysa encourages her readers to think about the things that keep us from doing what God wants us to do. The fear, doubt, naysayers (Christians and non-Christian’s both), and two big challenges that I have, which are dealing with acceptance and rejection. It was a very get down to the meat of it and look at the real reasons, not just “I don’t have time, money, resources, or the education, etc. to do what God wants me to do.” All excuses I have used over and over again.

God doesn’t want to hear why we cannot do something, because the second we say we can’t, we are not trusting in Him.

One of the nuggets of truth, okay, I get a lot of those nuggets, it’s like I have a party pack from McDonald’s, was a quote Lysa shared,

“Never let others compliments go to your head or their criticisms go to your heart.”

When we are placed in leadership at work, in our church, or just on the kid’s soccer team, that position can quickly go to our heads. I am just as guilty as the next person of “believing my own press” sometimes, but I am even quicker at believing the negative because I’ve told it to myself so long. “I’m not good enough to do this…if “they (who are they anyway?) only knew the real me they wouldn’t believe me, I’m too emotional, too sensitive, too ______ (just fill in the blank with what your own battle).

Well friends, as I have said before, it’s time to stop it.

The best way to battle each of the blockades that satan puts in our path, and it is satan, is to go to God’s word and writing His promises on our hearts.

Isaiah 26:3 says “You (God) will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.”

God will keep us, (never let go, never leave, never throw us away) in perfect (perfect, without flaw, without error) peace (without doubt, fear, or worry) him whose mind is steadfast (firm in purpose, unwavering, established, fixed into place and direction), because he (me, you, each one of us, not just the pastors, and the leaders of the Christian world, not just the ones who you think have it all figured out, every one of us) trusts in You (leans into, believes, relies on, knows that God’s wants the best for His children).

So here are some application steps for this chapter. Read Galatians 5:17 and John 8:32. Write them down and put them somewhere that you can study and memorize them. Come back and leave a comment about what those verses meant to you.

I challenge you my friend to become a woman who says yes to God in all things no matter what. In order to do that we need to keep our focus on our Heavenly Father (Psalm 141:8).

In closing chapter 5 of “What Happens When Women Say Yes To God” Lysa shares a prayer that Saint Patrick from Ireland wrote:

Christ shield me this day:

Christ with me,

Christ before me,

Christ behind me,

Christ in me,

Christ beneath me,

Christ above me,

Christ on my right,

Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down,

Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of every person who thinks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in the ear that hears me

This was from St. Patrick’s breastplate.

As we step out of the comfort zone, out of the boat, into the unknown and face our fears, our doubts, worry in all it shape and form, cling to the words of God and rely on Him for all of it. He is our shield and I know I am striving every day to just say yes.

Coffee Talk Chapter 4

2010-01-11T07:25:00.000-05:00

Chapter 4 of "What Happens When Women Say Yes To God" covered how we will never know how God will use us until we let him.

This chapter really stretched me while I was reading it. Gave me a lot to chew on, think about and pray about. I had to ask myself the question, "Do I praise God in all that happens, good and bad?"   Do I trust God with my daughter, with my family and friends, with my finances, with my job, etc. With every aspect of my life, do I trust God or do I have it all under control until I get overwhelemed, frustrated, or scared? Is God my go-to person in all things in my life or only when things get hard?

Really, truly, and in all honesty.

Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don't.

But God knows that. He knows that I'm going to run around like a chicken with my head cut off and that I'm going to get overwhelmed and that I'm going to doubt and that sometimes I'm going to miss it. Just like we as parents know that when our children try to walk, run, ride a bike, drive a car, manage a checkbook, go off to college, etc. that they are going to make a mistake. Do we expect it, yep. Do we love them less because of it, no, No, NO. We don't. We love them through it. And that's exactly what God does with us. but we have to trust Him and His plan for our lives.

Lysa and Art had one of a parents biggest challenges when their daughter became very ill. They had to give her to God and "we had to get settled in our hearts that we will love God no matter the outcome".

No matter the outcome.

You lose your job, you lose your car, your home. You become sick. A loved one becomes ill. Pain, regrets, mistakes. No matter what the outcome.

Settle in your heart that you will love God no matter the outcome and see how that changes your perspective.

Sounds easy to say but it is hard to practice but it is so much better to live a life that says yes to God every day and deciding now that you will love God through it all, then it is to wait until it is tested to decide that you will do it.   Satan wants to worm his way into our thoughts, and undermine our belief, not only in ourselves but in our God as well.

"I got mad at DD and WH today, lost my temper and said some awful things. What kind of Christian am I? How can I profess to have Christ living in me when I can't even control my temper?"

Ever had those thoughts? God knows it, He knows we will never be good enough on our own, and Lamentations 3 tells us "His compassions are new every morning." Every morning I get a new day, a new chance, and yesterday is gone. Instead of allowing my thoughts to run rampant with "I'm not going to get a gold-star in Christianity today." I need to ask God for forgiveness, those that I offended and hurt for forgiveness and move forward. Satan loves nothing more then to get us immersed in the quicksand of our mistakes and short-comings so that we are not able to step out onto the path God desires us to walk with Him on.

God wants to use us my friend. We all bring to the table a plethora of experiences, life-lessons, and stories of how God worked in our lives, how His promise and love are real, and He will use ALL of our experiences, not just the 100% gold-star, yeah I'm a good Christian moments, but also the "I messed up, I was wrong, I'm sorry, major oops, moments of our life too."

There are people all around us that have bought the "I'm not good enough, God can't love me, I've made too many mistakes" that satan has been feeding them. It's a lie.

Did you hear me?

IT IS A LIE!!

Don't believe it for one more second. Don't waste one more day buying into it' I did for too many years and all it got me were ulcers, gray hairs, and worry lines (not attractive at all). Say yes to God starting right now, this moment. Settle it in your heart. I may sound bossy but I truly believe that it is that important.

God,
You are awesome, amazing, astounding, and we love you. God thank You that Your compassion is new every morning and help each one of us settle in our hearts that we will love and trust You no matter what we are going through. God, help me to continue in my pursuit of You and Your desires for my life and God no matter what You would have from me, give me the strength, the courage and the ability to say yes to you every single day.

Amen

Fasting for a reason.

2010-01-07T07:08:00.000-05:00

As you have read previously (on "One Life To Live"), sorry couldn’t help it), we will be starting a fast on Sunday for 21 days. There are a lot of churches that are starting out the New Year and the new decade fasting.

If you are here from Martha’s blog at http://www.marthafry.org/ welcome! Martha, my pastor’s wife, has put together some great tools to help our church face the fast with less fear and trepidation but with more excitement and equipped to succeed.

I wrote a book review for her blog on Jentenzen Franklin’s book, “fasting” and it really has changed my entire perspective.

Last night at church Pastor Matt (go to his website here, http://www.mattfry.com/ , they are a bit competitive) spoke on how he was so excited about the upcoming fast and I can honestly say he is not the only one. There is a feeling of excitement bubbling in my soul. An apprehension, a holy fear almost about what is to come. Yes, I am nervous, yes, I want to make it to the 31st but more then that I just cannot wait to see what is going to happen in my life, with my family, and in my church during and as a result of this fast.

Last time we fasted I did it because the church did it. If you have read some of the blog entries and reviews on Martha’s blog you will see that I wasn’t alone in this. The church said fast, so I fasted. I didn’t understand the purpose for it and I didn’t understand the mechanics of it. It would be like giving my DD (darling daughter), who is 13-years-old, a brand new car. It is a great tool, will enable her to do things and give her freedom, but there is one problem, she doesn’t know how to drive and so the car would just sit in the driveway. She will have to become old enough (mature), be taught how to drive (given instruction) and then guided onto the road with someone beside her (support) to help until she is fully capable.

That’s what the book on fasting did for me. That is what Martha and the rest of us are working towards with the blog entries and the meal plans, etc. It is to come alongside and instruct and support and yes, there is a certainly maturity in your walk with Christ that is needed for fasting, but you also grow exponentially when you fast.

The other matter that has been weighing on my heart is that there can be many things to fast. Our church is doing the Daniels fast, which is no meat, no bread, and no sweets and I really recommend that you try it. The food is good and the recipes are fun, and if you follow Martha’s meal plan I think it would be cool to know that we are all eating the same thing together every night (is that weird??).

But you can fast other things as well, no television, no computer, no video games, there is even a financial fast as well, no buying ANYTHING not a necessity, I think we might be looking at that as well.

If you want to keep it in the realm of food, then fast no cokes (in the south that means no soft drinks, everything is “coke” and then you specify if you want Mt. Dew, Pepsi, or an actual Coca-Cola), or you can fast no sugar, no meat, no chocolate, etc. But the important thing is that you fast something that will be an impact on your daily life because when you are craving, wanting, desiring that, you go to God instead of the fridge, the pantry, or the drive-thru.

I enjoy my coffee (ok, huge understatement), I enjoy my chocolate, I enjoy my toast and my steak and ice cream and my sushi but by setting these things aside for the next 21 days, when I get up in the morning and my body wants coffee, I will pray. When I am dragging and want that caffeine kick I will pray. When the afternoon rolls around and I REALLY want a snack, I can have one, (fruits and veggies) but I will be intentional about it and I will pray. After dinner, when I want that ice cream and cookies before bed, I will pray. When you talk with someone that much all day long, you cannot help but become closer. How God will rejoice when He sees His children willing to forego something good to have His best.

The second part of this equation though, is like I said before, know why you are fasting. I have written down very specific things that I am praying about. I’m not just doing it to do it. I want answers to questions about God’s plan:
1. for my life
2. for my writing.
3. for my sons and my daughter.
4. for my husband
5. for our marriage and for the marriages of friends.
6. for our finances
7. for our parents
8. for our friends
9. for our church
10. for our leaders in government
11. Other things

Yes, the list is pretty long. I have 21 days and I have a feeling there will be a lot of prayer time during that time (I told you guys I feel great affection for my coffee). The vital point to this is to take your doubts, fears, questions, needs and wants to God. Offer then up to Him to give you guidance and direction. When you get in the dumps during the fast (and it will happen) go to your list and focus on something/someone there and the hunger will fade, the temptation will abate and you will have won that battle. I’m sure we will be talking a lot more about the fast in the coming days.

Leave a comment if you have fasted before and have any suggestions for me. Cannot wait to see what God is going to do! Have a wonderful blessed Thursday my friends!

Just an update

2010-01-05T06:12:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a couple of days, 3 in fact, since I've posted last. Things here in the France household have been a bit crazy but I got some great blog material so tune back in later, (if you sign up to follow the blog it will let you know automatically when I update by the way.)

Future topics include:

Be careful what you pray for, you might just get it.
Exactly how much junk is cluttering up our lives?
God, I love you more then chicken.
Fueling up to (or too?) fast.
Could Daniel have made it if he had had to compete with boberry biscuits, a Big Mac, or a Frosty?

And many more. (I sound like one of those greatest hit albums.)

We are preparing to begin a Daniel's fast (will explain what that is soon too) on January 10th and I have been reading a book called "fasting" by Jentezen Franklin. Check it out

I'll be back soon and let you guys in on what's been going on here.

42 Things I Like About You

2010-01-02T08:25:00.000-05:00

Today is my WH’s celebration of the creation of his belly button. A little while back a friend of mine wrote a blog post about her husbands birthday and she listed things that she loved, admired, respected and just generally liked about him. The same number as his birthday. I thought it was a great idea and so I’m going to do my own today for WH. Too many times I know I am quick to complain, nag, or be negative in some way and just assume someone knows how I feel about them. This year I want to make sure that those that I care for know how I feel and how much they are appreciated. Happy birthday my love.

1. He makes me laugh.
2. He is one of the smartest individuals I know.
3. He is one of the kindest individuals I know.
4. He is a very giving man.
5. He has more patience in his little finger then most people have in their entire body.
6. His eyes. Just his eyes.
7. He listens to me.
8. He likes my cooking, a lot.
9. He is solid.
10. He is my sounding board.
11. He holds back the tide when I feel overwhelmed.
12. He can fix anything
13. He cooks and enjoys it.
14. He looks sexy when he grills
15. He is willing to try anything.
16. He is willing to let me try anything.
17. He listens to my dreams.
18. He tolerates mood swings from all the females in the house.
19. He is a very safe driver.
20. He doesn’t mind me camping out in bookstores.
21. He never fusses about how much we spend at bookstores.
22. He can teach himself anything.
23. When he decides to do something there is no stopping him.
24. He is very wise.
25. His prayers are powerful.
26. I would follow him anywhere.
27. When he wraps his arms around me I feel like I can do anything.
28. I can come to him in tears and emotional and when he holds me all the worry and stress goes away.
29. I love to talk with him and listen to his view on things because we think very differently.
30. Even though we think differently we are very similar in our likes and dislikes.
31. He has an enormous capacity to accomplish great things.
32. He has a quiet faith that runs very deep.
33. He stands up for what he believes in, no matter what.
34. He doesn’t allow other peoples opinions or views sway his.
35. He isn’t afraid to admit when he is wrong.
36. He isn’t afraid to say he is sorry.
37. He takes amazing photographs.
38. He loves my daughter like she was his own.
39. He loves my parents like they were his own.
40. He loves me
41. His laugh warms my heart.
42. I can see us growing old together, and I cannot wait to see what God is going to do in our life.

I love you. Happy Birthday Day.

New Year, new me, new you?

2010-01-01T08:02:00.000-05:00

It’s 6:45 a.m. on January 1, 2010. I am in the mountains of Virginia. The sky is slowly brightening in the east as the sun begins to climb up into the sky.

It is the first day of the new year of a new decade. Last night the door closed on 2009 and it was done, over. The past 10 years have been full of contrast, dark and light, good and bad, positive and negative. I am amazed at how my view of all that has happened to me, my family and friends has changed in the last 10 years. Ten years ago I was celebrating the year 2000 in Cordova, Tennessee with DD’s father. I had no idea what changes were about to occur in my life and had I even been given a hint at what I would go through I probably would have run away because I know, looking back on this year and the last 10, God was there through it all.

God and I had an on and off relationship, mostly off, for the majority of my life. God to me was more like a policeman with mystical powers, someone you called on when you needed help but otherwise someone you avoided because He was just waiting to reprimand, punish and condemn.

I did view God, for a long time, like a highway patrolman out on the road. I can be driving on the interstate, cruise set at the speed limit (okay, maybe one or two over), my seatbelt on, my cell phone off (no texting while driving) and both hands on the wheel, minding my own business, and I see a highway patrolman in my rearview mirror. I start getting nervous, my mind rushing to make sure, do I have my registration, is my inspection up to date, do I have a tail-light out, etc. and I become hyper vigilant about my driving. I haven’t done anything wrong but just because an authority figure, someone who can pass judgment on my actions might be scrutinizing my actions, I start sweating. I know that I am not the only one who does this because how many times have I been traveling on the road and watch every car in front of me tap the brakes when they see a patrol car in the median of the highway. How many of us wonder if we should pass a cop if he is traveling at or below the posted speed limit? Am I the only one who hums the theme from Jaws every time I see a highway patrol car? Da dum, da dum, da dum. (Okay, maybe that is just me, but I still think they look like sharks).

Wow, this post sure didn’t go where I thought it was going to go. Very much like most of my life. I start out going in one direction and wind up somewhere completely different. But while that used to worry me now it really excites me because I realize I am no longer in control of it.

I have also realized that God is nothing like I perceived Him and when my perception of God changed my relationship with God changed.

The last 10 years have been hard in many ways and as I sit here this morning reflecting on all the ways God showed up when I didn’t even want Him around, I cannot fathom what He is going to do now that I am striving to walk with Him and not run away from Him.

17Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! 18All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21God made him who had no sin to be sin[a] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. -2 Corinthians 5:17-21

The sun is penetrating through the darkness, the clouds are breaking up and the night is giving way to the morning. I start hearing the song from Cats playing in my head, Memories (I love musicals).

“Daylight I must wait for the sunrise

I must think of a new life

And I musn't give in

When the dawn comes

Tonight will be a memory too

And a new day will begin”

It is a new day on the new year of a new decade. I don’t know what today will bring, or tomorrow, this year, or 10 years from now, but I have a feeling that it is going to be amazing. Memories are wonderful and should be cherished, but don’t get so caught up in the past that you miss out on the new day, the sunrise, and the hope and dreams of the future. If you are reading this, then you are breathing and alive, if you are breathing and alive, then God still has a purpose for your life.

Happy New Year and happy new life. A life that can be filled with joy, happiness, laughter and promise. God wants that for all of His children.

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.-Jeremiah 29:11

May your New Year's resolution be one that you keep long past January 15th and that is to grab tight to the hand of your heavenly Father and walk with Him through the rest of your life. That is my prayer for you.

Coffee Talk Wednesday

2009-12-30T19:46:00.001-05:00

When Obedience Becomes Radical

Today is week 3 of our Coffee Talk and we are on chapter 3 (neat how that works, but pay attention because we are going to be changing things up soon).

Lysa challenges us to become radical in our obedience to God.

Be Holy (1 Peter 1:13-16)

3Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 14As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance. 15But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; 16for it is written: "Be holy, because I am holy."

I am going to write this verse down and leave it in several places so that I can write it on my heart. I want to prepare my mind for action and self-control is something I strive for as well. I don’t want to conform nor do I want to live in ignorance any longer. I want to be holy in all I do. Wow, that’s a tall order. It certainly is radical.

Lysa talks about the Lord instructing her to turn off the television. (There is more too but I’m not going to give it all away here).

We made that same choice about two years ago. A lot of people see that as being radical. I’m not against television. I enjoy movies and we do occasionally watch a movie or play a video game, but we have, as a family, become very intentional about it. Now watching a movie is an event, a special time together and we are very selective with what we watch. A lot of my friends and family don’t understand it but that’s okay. I am not sitting on my holy high horse saying, “television is evil”. It was, we felt, instruction from God for our family and we were obedient.

Lysa talks about God stirring in your heart to give up something, either permanently or for a season. In studying this it almost seemed like baby steps, it’s a lot easier to give something up that you already have then it is to take a step into the unknown. We had television, we knew what watching t.v. was like, so by giving it up we were letting it go and I think that is a wise place to start if you want your obedience to become radical. Take that first step by looking at your life, your habits, and your day-to-day living and ask God what is good and what is best. God only wants what is best for His children and that may require us to give up something that, to us, is good but to God is not nearly as good as His plans for us.

A lot of our discussion last night revolved around a four-letter word, FEAR. Scriptures dealing with fear and how to overcome fear weave in and out of the Bible. Perhaps because God knew that just telling His children one time wasn’t going to be enough. Almost everything that comes against us has it’s root in fear. What is God laying on your heart? What has He challenged you with doing that you just haven’t been able to say yes to yet and why? What is holding you back?

One of the statements in Lysa’s book is, “ We need not fear what our obedience will cause to happen in our life. We should only fear what our disobedience will cause us to miss.”

I know I have missed out on God’s best due to fear time and time again. I’m not willing to settle for that anymore. I want the best for my children. I don’t want fear to keep my kids from following God’s leading, so it’s time to face my own fear(s) and know that my Father is with me no matter what. As long as I am walking with Him, I am headed in the right direction and that’s the best place of all to be.

Dear Heavenly Father,
Your love and desire for us to be all that You created us to be overwhelms me at times. I want to be radically obedient and follow close behind you Father. I want to see You in my day to day life. I want to hear Your voice and know Your will because I know that You only want what is best for me. Thank You for all You have given me and help me to discern what is Your best in my life. Amen.

What I got for Christmas.

2009-12-29T05:24:00.006-05:00

Every day we start out with 24 hours. From 12:00 a.m. until 11:59 p.m. we have 24 hours in which to accomplish all that is on our to-do list. Over the holidays my 24 hours seemed about 4 hours shorter then normal and my to-do list seemed about 2 pages longer. Due to construction and destruction at our house, working and shopping and baking and cleaning (okay, not so much the cleaning but at least I stayed on top of the laundry) we were all feeling the frantic rush of the holiday festivities.

Until Wednesday night.

I blogged a little bit here about the gift my father had given me Wednesday but that wasn’t the only gift I got. I got the gift of time with my family. Normally we are all so rushed and getting together is a hassle to plan. Sometimes, because it’s so quick with everyone coming and going, that you wonder why you even bothered. But this year was different. This year we sat and talked. We looked at the photos my father and brother had put together in a video for us and laughed and remembered. We laughed in the kitchen about chocolate covered mice (is that blood? no, it's a bow!) until we cried and our stomachs hurt. Not one single gift was given that you could hold in your hand, but God gave each of us a gift that night in memories and connections made stronger.

Thursday dawned busy with last minute shopping and getting ready for Christmas Eve services at church and once again the anxiety of having everything just right started to overwhelm. My dad and my brother and I always go Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and I was in too much of a rush (due to poor planning on my part) to be able to enjoy this tradition that goes back as long as I can remember. I felt like I had let my dad and my brother down by not being able to slow down and spend the time with them but DD and I got the shopping I had put off to the last minute done and headed home to get ready for church.

We made it to service and were able to slow down enough to hear what Pastor Matt was talking about, a gift, The Gift of our Lord and Savior and I felt the calm and peace settle in me. The message was inspired and the worship music was amazing and my cup once again was filled to overflowing. We left service and went to my brothers where more food was eaten and more laughter shared.

Christmas morning we woke up and had presents to open. There was laughter, tears and the gamut of emotions and lots of pictures taken. But then I had to go to work and I will admit while I was grateful that I have a job it was hard to be “stuck in the office” while my family enjoyed time together. Again, Satan was trying to steal my joy. So I tried to pray for the doctors and nurses and the patient’s that were working with me as well, for the other editors that were on call and for friends that I knew were working. The hours went by a bit faster when I started thinking about others, not about myself.

After work we were out the door to mom and dads where gifts were exchanged and more memories were made. Money has been tight for everyone this year, including us, so we didn’t buy a lot of gifts but it was just right. We didn’t spend 3-4 hours opening presents but we got to spend time talking and resting and relaxing together. I thought it was hilarious that after all the gifts were opened the kids had more fun with the bubble wrap. We stayed late at my parents and came home to get ready to go see WH family the next day.

WH’s family lives a couple of hours away. It is hard to have a relationship with someone when you don’t get to spend time together. As a daughter-in-law you can get your feelings hurt or inadvertently hurt someone else’s feelings because you haven’t had a chance to get to know them. I prayed I wouldn’t say something stupid or embarrass WH or DD and that we would all be able to enjoy the day. The day was a gift.

The kids did great, everyone got along, there was laughter and goofiness and my sister-in-law gave me some elephant sauce (so I could eat my elephant one bite at a time), and games were played, babies loved on, and more pictures taken and connections were made stronger. I felt more like a daughter and a friend, not just WH’s wife or DD’s mom, or a wicked stepmother. I felt accepted and loved and that I belonged and that was a wonderful gift.

We spent the entire day and I never once looked at my watch. We got home late Saturday, tired but refilled in our hearts. DD said on the way home that while she hadn’t got a lot of presents that was okay, because she had been able to spend time with her family and that was a great feeling. Yeah, she's pretty smart and I'm glad she realized what a gift she had been given.

I am back at work this week and New Year will be spent with more family out of town. I’m looking forward to that gift as well because now I know what the secret is, slow down, breath, and laugh together. It’s a priceless gift you can share with everyone and the cool thing is, when you give it away you get it back.

A Picture is worth a 1,000 words.

2009-12-28T17:56:00.002-05:00

My father has been a professional photographer most of my life. He has taken amazing photographs and made visual mementos for people to cherish. These photographs, moments in time to never be forgotten, are in homes all over this county, this state, and even the country. There are photographs on walls and in albums of loved ones and precious moments preserved.

My father took pictures before the digital age and made many of his photographs with slides. Growing up there were a lot of photos taken of my brother and me but not a lot of photo albums. Through moving and packing and unpacking the slides were put away and many of those tangible touchstones were forgotten, until I said something. (I know, me and my big mouth).

I wanted to see them. I wanted to have a record, something to show my children and perhaps one day my grandchildren of my mom and dad and my grandparents, my family.

So my father, because he rocks like that, complied. He went out to the barn and salvaged 10’s of thousands of slides and for the past month he has been going through them one at a time. Technology finally caught up and he was able to transfer many of those slides to digital images and now they are mine to print, frame, look at, blog about, or just remember. The Wednesday before Christmas he unveiled the first wave of memories for my mother’s family.

There were pictures of my aunts and uncles and all of us cousins, together at the holidays, at Sunday dinner, laughing, growing, but there was someone else. Someone who has been gone for over many years who really was the lifeblood in our family.

My grandmother, Irene.

That's me and her opening presents many years ago. I'm probably "helping" her open hers. She would let us do that (can you say spoiled much?).

She was the matriarch of our family who slipped away too soon to Alzheimer’s. My grandmother was Christian when Christian wasn’t cool. She loved her Jesus more then anyone I knew. She was not afraid to tell you about it and she knew scripture backward and forward. She was the first woman I ever saw write in her bible (I didn’t know you could actually write in it) and a light would come into her eyes when she talked about her Heavenly Father.

I got older and so did grandma and I became rebellious and a “know it all” attitude came between her and I (I was the know-it-all, not her). I lost out on so much wisdom and guidance because grandma was just old and didn’t understand (sound familiar?). Yes I wish she was here to see, to listen and to talk to, but I think she lives on, in my mother, in me, and in my daughter and nieces and will for generations to come.

Now, three generations later, her great-granddaughters will never get to know what a wonderful woman she was, but hopefully, through her grandparents, her parents and aunts and uncles, we can impart some of my grandmothers' wisdom and will probably repeat a lot of her prayers over our own children and grandchildren and maybe, just maybe one of them will look back on one of us when we are gone and say, "because of their words I was able to do _______".

My father gave me back those memories and I can almost feel her when I’m sitting at my dining room table with a cup of coffee and my bible. I pray that one day she and I will get to sit in heaven and have one of her “come to Jesus meetings” but the cool thing will be, Jesus WILL be able to come and I think that would just tickle both of us.

So right now, think back, with the year coming to a close and a new year about to start, who has poured into you either recently or in your past? Who inspired, prayed for, encouraged, or even sat you down and had a "come to Jesus meetin" with you? Is there anyone that can say you did that for them? It matters and will matter for years to come in ways you can never imagine but God can. So listen to that nudge to sit down your kid or grandkid or friend, sister, or brother and tell them what you believe. Speak Truth into their lives, even if it doesn't look like they are listening, you never know what will happen when you plant that seed. My grandmother did and it took almost 20 years for it to grow and I'm still pruning but she helped plant and water those first seeds.

Thank you Grandma for all you poured into me. Although you never would say, “I’m proud of you” because it wasn’t right to be proud (Proverbs 16:18) I pray that you will know how much your words, your wisdom, but more then anything, your prayers did for me. I love you Grandmamma, and thank you Daddy, for giving me back the pictures to go with the memories.

What Christmas is all about

2009-12-25T09:23:00.001-05:00

In all the different times I have heard "The Christmas Story" this is by far my favorite. Simple, to the point. The complete passage can be found in Luke 2 At Luke 2:10 the angel states "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people."

ALL

THE

PEOPLE

Everyone. Not just a few, not just one or two, but for ALL PEOPLE. That's one of the things I love about my Jesus. He is an equal opportunity Savior. Not based on skin color, height, weight, hair color, eye color, politcal or economic views. All based on your heart.

I pray your heart is filled with the love and joy that today holds and if I could give you one gift it would be that every day would be Christmas for everyone. Think how much better the world would be if we celebrated Jesus every day.

Happy Birthday to my Lord and Savior. Thank you for giving us the most important gift of all, You.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Coffee Talk Week 2

2009-12-23T15:36:00.000-05:00

I’ve been a bit busy this week, you know that whole Christmas thing, well, actually, I don’t HAVE to do anything and Christmas will come but there are so many expectations that I feel like I have to meet. My WH even said that he was actually getting to the point that he dreads Christmas, not because of what it means (the celebration of the birth of our Jesus) but what it has turned into.

I’ll be honest, I have had very little time to spend with my Lord this week and I am really feeling the impact of it. Last night we had our Coffee Talk and I had been attempting to read my chapter for the past week and with frequent starts and stops. I finally was able to absorb some of it. I realize now why Satan really didn’t want me to read this particular chapter because it helped open up eyes to how to hear from God. Do you hear from God, do you recognize His still small voice?

We played a little game last night. I had asked two of my girlfriends who didn’t know each other very well to participate and they were willing (I wonder if they will do that again?). I had seen my pastor at C3 do this before but I sorta tweaked it a bit.

I blindfolded one and then set up an obstacle course. The other volunteer stood mid-way down my walkway and guided the “blind” through the path. However, the rest of us stood around screaming out opposite instructions. The one who was blindfolded was not really familiar with the person’s voice that she was supposed to be listening for and she had to really focus and concentrate to hear her voice over the screaming around her. Once she made it through my impromptu obstacle course, (water bottles and candle luminaries) she removed her blindfold. She shared how she had to really focus on the voice of the one that she was to listen to. That it was distracting and hard to concentrate with all the other noise going on around her. Do you see where I am going here? How often do we get distracted by all the voices? How does our crazy pace make it hard to hear when God calls our name?

The second chapter in “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” talks about discerning God’s voice and how to know if what you are hearing is God’s voice. But you have to be able to quiet the noise of all the other voices around you so that you can hear His voice. I haven’t been able to do that very well this past week and the lack of time with Him has shown up in all aspects of my walk. Feelings of being overwhelmed, the disorganization, inadvertent shortened conversations (sorry Renee), and a short temper has my life feeling like it is spinning like a top and I’m just holding on. I had to stop the spinning and get on my knees. I had to shut off the music, shut down the computer, put away all the lists and turn off the phone and be quiet.

Being quiet for me is difficult (those that know me are nodding their heads right now). That was the other challenge for me from this week’s chapter. It is only logical that in order to have a relationship with anyone that yes, you talk, but it is important that you stop talking and listen. I get so excited about God and the changes He has made in my life that once the mouth starts going, it’s hard to shut it up. Well, my heavenly Father loves to hear my praise, I know that but my heavenly Father has all the answers to my questions and wants to hear my prayers. He’s just waiting. But if I come to Him in a hurry, frantic pace, rushed and inattentive, and am not willing to hush and listen, I am like a young child who runs to her father crying with a problem and then runs out before he can fix it.

I have to stop. Completely and totally stop. Take a deep breath and bring Him the needs of my heart and then I have to wait. To be quiet and listen and slow down so that He can fill me up with His love, guide me with His direction, and replenish my waning energy with His power. It’s all there, I know that, but I keep running by it full tilt, mouth on fast forward. How about we all slow down, grab a cup of decaf (cause I certainly don’t need any more stimulation) and just listen for His still small voice.

My wonderful, patient, heavenly Father,
I want to hear you, I want to know you and I want to know that I am following your instructions in every aspect of my life. Help me to turn off all the distractions and the noise in my life, and the distractions and the noise in my mind, so that my soul can receive the peace, beauty and stillness that I long for. Amen.

FIVE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

2009-12-20T09:00:00.000-05:00

Sunday, December 20, 2009.

Contest business: The winner of the I-Tunes gift card was…

Leslie Pennington!

Leslie if you will email me at leigh at leighfrance dot com I will get that in the mail to you this week. I promise it will get there before my Christmas card does. Thanks to everyone who signed up to follow my blog. Will have more contest just for my “followers” throughout the coming year. LOL, membership has its privileges.

Five days until Christmas and my list of things to do is feels like it’s longer then Santa’s and I will certainly be checking it more then twice to make sure I get everything taken care of this week.

Each year I tell myself, “Self, you need to start Christmas shopping in January, you need to put aside a certain amount of money each paycheck, you need to take a family picture in August so you can send out Christmas cards, etc...” And every Christmas I still find myself scrambling to know what to buy, never getting out Christmas cards, and getting bogged down, overwhelmed and frustrated during what should be a time of joy, praise, thanksgiving, and celebration.

This morning I am making out two lists. I will be listing the things I need to get done by Friday and asking WH and DD to help where they can, but my second list will be something I can do daily with my family or alone.

To think about this week for Mary and Joseph and what it meant to them. To imagine what they were experiencing 2,000 years ago this week. There was no Christmas. But there was a journey, a young woman traveling on a donkey. A woman who was very pregnant and far away from home. Far away from her mother and other women to help her. A woman who would deliver the Savior.

In the song, “Mary Did You Know,” the most powerful lyric to me is, “Mary did you know that the child that you delivered would soon deliver you?”

I don’t believe that Mary or Joseph had any idea of what was to come. If you knew what God’s ultimate plan was for your life do you think you could wrap your head around it? I know I never thought 10 years ago, 5 years ago, even 1 year ago I would be doing what I am now for my God.

I am going to make my two lists and become very intentional with making sure Christ is at the beginning, middle and end of every single day. I will go look at Christmas lights and remember the light of the world that came down and how the beauty of a Christmas tree will pale beside the light of my Jesus.

I will wrap my gifts and pray for each person that will receive it that not only will they know how much I care for them, but also that the gift I have given them pales in comparison to the gift from our heavenly Father.

I will slow down, way down, and realize that satan would love nothing more then for me to rush through all this and miss the real meaning. A birthday is a celebration and a chance to show love and appreciation to someone. But with Jesus’ birth a life was begun that became a gift beyond compare. Love came down and walked among men.

So, Mary did you know and my friend, do you know as well what the true meaning of this week. How are you going to slow down this week? What are you going to do? I would love to hear from you and in case I forget it on the list, have a wonderful and wonder filled Merry Christmas.

Snow Days, Snow Cream, Sledding and Soup

2009-12-18T06:45:00.001-05:00

They say there is a possibility of snow tonight and/or tomorrow. Here in North Carolina that is a big deal. I lived in Chicago for one winter and people didn’t “see” the snow because they were equipped to deal with it and life could go on as normal. I thought that was sad. Because here, when they call for snow, magic takes places and it’s like a gift waiting to be opened.
Praying for snow is the first prayer I can really remember outside of saying the blessing and saying my “now I lay me down to sleep” prayers as a child. Sitting in front of the t.v. while the news talked about the possibility of snow the next day and anxiously waiting to see if school would be cancelled or not. My father would wake us up during the night as soon as he saw it falling and more prayers would be sent up from an excited little girl who just wanted a chance to live in a snow globe for a bit.

Looking back now I know what made the magic of a snow day. First we have no guarantee of snow every winter so it’s like a surprise party in the making any time the weatherman mentions the word snow. It is hard to know how much snow, what kind of snow (there are different kinds you know) and how long it’s going to hang around. All surprises.

And then to look out the window and see the water falling, but it’s not rain; it’s like a kiss from a child falling on your cheek, to be treasured, like a gift.

Growing up snow days, when there was enough snow, meant sledding but we had a problem, no hills around my house, just flat land and deep ditches, but my father improvised. He got us a sled and tied it to whatever vehicle we had, sometimes it was a go-cart, or a jeep, or a truck and he would drive in circles around and around the lot in the back yard. The snow would get packed down tight and it would become almost like ice and you had to pay attention or you could get slung off into a drift. My father would spend hours with us holding on tight and laughing at our antics. He got to stop, slow down, because the world outside had stopped, and spend time with my brother, my friends and me. It was a gift.

Then we would come inside and there would be soup on the stove, homemade vegetable beef soup. Nothing tastes as good as my mom’s soup. With grilled cheese sandwiches and still dripping snow all over the warmth started in the belly and spread out to the hands and feet but the warmth in the heart as mom stood in the kitchen laughing and smiling stayed long after the snowflakes melted. I didn’t realize it at the time, but that too was a gift.

The highlight of the day came when mom would make snow cream. There are many different ways to make it and I have posted the recipe I use below. It has to be clean snow, mom would often put a pot out just for the snow for snow cream, or if the drifts were big enough Dad would get the snow from there. You want clean snow since you are going to be eating it.

1 (5 oz.) can evaporated milk
1 c. whole milk
1 egg (don't have to use it if you don't want to, make sure they are fresh)
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 c. sugar
Add enough snow to well mixed ingredients to desired consistency. Amount of snow needed depends on how "wet" the snow is. Dry, fluffy snow makes the best ice cream.

The fire in the fireplace would be burning and hot chocolate would be served WITH marshmallows (I like the mini ones best) and sometimes rice krispy treats but nothing could match the snow cream. You could have hot chocolate and rice krispy treats anytime, but magic had to happen in order to have snow cream. Another gift to be treasured.

People wonder why southerner’s freak out when there is a slightest chance of snow? They complain because we don’t know how to drive in it, or that we run out and buy all the milk and bread. It’s because we get it. We know what a gift a snow day has the potential to give. And even though I’m grown now, I still find myself praying for snow, just like I did 30+ years ago so let them laugh and make fun.

I went and got my milk and bread last night so I can make snow cream and grilled cheese sandwiches for my daughter. I need to go Christmas shopping, I need to do a thousand things, but if the first flake falls I’m hunkering down, pulling out the mini marshmallows and soup will be put on. Come on over if you don’t mind driving in it and have a bowel of soup and a sandwich, maybe we can even make snow cream.

It’s not as much about the snow as it is about the slowing down and enjoying the gift. Do you have a memory of a snow day that you can share? Leave a comment!

Coffee Talk Wednesday

2009-12-16T07:15:00.000-05:00

We are just starting out on a new adventure. Coffee Talk Wednesdays will be a day to discuss a book. We have the living, breathing version at my house on Tuesday night and then I will be posting here on Wednesdays.

The book we are going through right now is called, “What Happens When Women Say Yes to God” by Lysa TerKeurst. This book helped me to grow deeper in my relationship with God by helping me to understand what having a relationship with God was truly about.

I will be talking about chapter 1 today, “A Soul That Longs For More.” If you are doing our coffee talk online great! Please feel free to leave comments on the blog, or if you need to talk one-on-one, shoot me an email Leigh at leighfrance dot com. (You have to spell it that way so that spam bots don’t track down email addresses. I will be putting a contact button on my blog soon, as soon as I can figure out how.)

When I start a new book that I am looking at to answer a question or to further equip me in something I try to make sure I have several things with me while I am reading. I get post-it notes, a journal, bright colored index cards, my bible and a pen. For this chapter I went through and highlighted the bible verses that were referenced, wrote them down on the end of my index card and found them in my bible. I placed the cards there and would jot down thoughts that came to me as I read those scriptures. When this chapter is done I will write the scripture out on the card and use it to help me memorize that scripture. Scripture memorization is something I struggle with. I can remember song verses from 20 years ago but I can’t remember passage and verse to God’s Word, so I find different ways to help me.

I also write, highlight, underline throughout the book I am reading. If my thoughts are “too big” for the margin that’s where my journal comes in. I reference the date, book and page number and then write down where my thoughts take me. Sometimes it’s a question, sometimes is a sudden revelation, and sometimes it might be a reminder to pick up milk (seriously) but WHATEVER is on my heart I have found the reason it is there will become clear at some point.

Chapter 1 A Soul That Longs For More.

Longing. Most of the time what we long for is something out of our reach, perhaps it’s a husband or a wife, perhaps it is a job, or a better job, perhaps it is a child, or perhaps it’s for something less tangible.

Sometimes our souls long for acceptance, approval, love, understanding, forgiveness, and sometimes, the one thing that our soul longs for is something even more, bigger, wider, and deeper then we can put a name on. Sometimes what our souls are truly longing for is a living, breathing, touchable, hearable, meaningful relationship with our God.

Lysa talks about some of the moments that God placed a burden on her heart to do something that was outside her comfort zone. How she was able to bless someone by her obedience to God, but how she, in turn was given so much more. She calls these “divine appointments” and I love that but she goes on to say:

“How many times have I told You no, God? How many times because I was too tired, too insecure, too uncertain, too busy, or too selfish have I walked right past Your divine appointment for me and missed experiencing You?”

I cannot count how many times I have told God no and I missed it. I missed getting to experience God working.

It’s time to take a step into the unknown and become a woman who says yes to God.

During my study time I realized that I do not have to be perfect before I can say yes. I don’t have to have it all together, know all the answers, or have more money, more time, more ________. I just needed to say yes and give up control to the One who controls the universe.

Giving up control.

Woman today have earned the right to vote, we have earned equal pay for equal work (most of the time), we have broken the glass ceiling in many careers and the world is our oyster. We work, raise our kids, some take care of their parents as well, love our husbands, balance the checkbook, run our household, etc. It is no wonder we are so tired. The world has told us over and over again that we have to fix it and we have to be in control but the ironic thing is, we aren’t.

Control is a perception. I control the car I drive, but if my car breaks down, that’s out of my control. I can discipline my child, but if she chooses to disobey then it is out of my control. I can work hard at my job and make all the right decisions, but if the company decides to lay me off, that is out of my control. There is only One who truly has control. Who can keep me safe in my travels, help me to raise a child, and can put me in a better situation is I should lose my job. Saying yes to God means letting go of that control.

Lysa sums up this chapter with six very powerful words,

“Whatever God says do, do it.”

I couldn’t put it any better, so I’m not going to try, but I am going to take another step closer to my God and be ready to do WHATEVER He says do.

Study these verses to find out more:
Deuteronomy 6:5
Psalm 16: 7-9
Psalm 19: 7-10
There are great questions at the end of each chapter to help you go deeper. Pick up the book; we will be doing a chapter a week. Next week will be talking about “Hearing God’s Voice.” Have a wonderfully blessed week.

Dear God, thank you so much for each person that took a few minutes out of their day today to stop and read the words you placed on my heart. God thank you for all that you are doing in my life and the lives of those around me. God, I feel like I get to take part in preparing the guest list for a party that will be taking place in Heaven one day and that You are throwing little pre-parties all over earth just to give us a taste of what is to come. God, this book has been such a blessing in my life and I pray that each person that takes the time to follow it’s instructions will be in awe of how their life changes when they decide to say yes to You. I pray that You will guide their words, guide their hearts, and guide their steps God to speak of You, love You, and grow closer to You every day. Amen.

Blind-Sided

2009-12-14T07:49:00.001-05:00

This weekend my WH (wonderful husband), DD (darling daughter), and I went to go see the movie “The Blind Side” starring Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. I have always been a huge fan of Sandra Bullock. I think she is a great character actor and she makes me laugh. She also went to college at ECU and I have a friend who knew her at ECU so in a way, she and I are like really good friends, sort of, okay, not really, but I would be her BFF if she wanted me to.

Anyway…

Our household had been going back and forth for the past few weeks with all the sickness crude going around and DD was supposed to dance in the Christmas parade on Saturday but she had been complaining of a sore throat again so WH decided it would be better for her not to dance and for us to all do something together. I wanted to see “The Blind Side”. Watch a bit of it here.

I had heard it had great reviews and that the story was inspiring and amazing and it had my BFF Sandy staring in it, so off we went on Saturday to see the movie. (I’d like to say now that I still get blind-sided that a matinee for 3 people can still cost 20.00 for tickets and 20+ for one large popcorn, two drinks, and one candy! Good grief). We will be eating Mac and Cheese for the rest of the week, but it was so worth it.

First of all, thank you Blind Side director for allowing a Christian family to not have to be a bunch of weirdo, bible thumping, holier-than-thou, everyone else is going to hell and I am so much better then you hypocrites. I don’t blame people for not wanting to know about Christianity because often the way we are portrayed is not a true picture at all. In the movie, which is based on the true story of Michael Oher, Leigh Anne has a temper, she drinks a glass of wine, and she stands up for what she believes in, no matter what other people might think. There isn’t an overwhelming mention of God, or faith, but there is an undercurrent, an understanding and she wears a cross necklace (no that doesn’t make you a Christian, but I thought it was interesting that it was always there, no matter what she was wearing). I also found it very interesting when she went to where Michael was from to “confront the enemy” the camera was angled so that the viewer saw her cross necklace and then the necklace the bad guy was wearing, it was a machine gun. (check out the video at 1:43)

Everyone has a God; it might just have a different name.

“The Blind Side” is about protecting the quarterback’s blind side in football, but it is so much more. Leigh Anne and her family were blind-sided when they brought a young black man into their family. They were blind-sided by the difference it made in all of their lives, not just Michael’s. Michael was blind-sided by the opportunities that came his way, not only in the moment they took him in, but for the rest of his life.

Satan was blind-sided, which is the BEST part. Think about it. One woman followed God’s leading. One child was rescued from Satan’s clutches, and it could have stopped there and been amazing.

But then God was able to take what happened and inspire people all over the world. Satan isn’t the only one that can pull a sneak attack.

People are looking for more in life. For a richness and a depth. They are searching for ways to make an impact, to make a difference, to effect change in their lives and the lives of those around them. It is the overwhelming cry from a world gone crazy. Everyone wants to know,

“Do I matter?”

God’s promise is that we matter more then we will ever know and/or understand. Living for God doesn’t mean that you can’t have a glass of wine, or say a curse word. It doesn’t mean that you become better then everyone else or that you do everything right.

But it does mean that God might just blind-side you, put on your heart to do the unexpected. Leigh Anne Tuohy did and see what happened? Watch out, because you might just get blind-sided.

"Stop It."

2009-12-11T07:18:00.001-05:00

Our Pastor talked about how Jesus was wonderful counselor this past weekend at church.

Pastor introduced his sermon with a video that blew me away. I found a shortened version of it that gets to the point.

I laughed too; it was very funny, but also true. That girl was me for a long time. All the excuses and the lies I told myself for much of my life, the blame that I put on others and on myself. Negative self-talk, depression, obsessive-compulsive, suicidal thoughts, anger, helpless, all of it.

Please don’t misunderstand. I am certainly not saying that there isn’t a time and a place for therapy and even the initiation of medications and possibly hospitalization when our quality of life and ability to function is impacted. I have had years of therapy, some great and some not so great, but there came a point that no matter how long my therapist and I might discuss something, or break it down, dissect it, ultimately the decision was mine and I had to chose what I was going to think and what actions I was going to take.

Jesus never negotiated, he never begged, and he never pleaded with anyone. With the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and brought before Jesus, (John 8), He questioned the crowd, wrote in the sand, and then looked up and gave her two things, a gift and command.

“And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more” (John 8:11)

“Neither do I condemn thee” Looking back now I see where my anger, self-pity, depression, all the dark were feelings of self-condemnation. Guilt and anger at myself for mistakes I had made and destructive actions I had taken. I allowed Satan to get a stronghold in my thoughts and convince me that there was no help for me and that there was no hope for me (I didn’t know it was Satan at the time. When you don’t understand how powerful God’s love is, it’s hard to grasp how persuasive the king of lies is).

I didn’t understand God’s love for me. God doesn’t condemn his children to hell; we condemn ourselves when we refuse to receive the gift He has given us.

Jesus gave the woman a gift by not condemning her, but then He gave her instructions…”go, and sin no more.”

They didn’t sit down and talk about it some more. He didn’t tell her to go on Oprah and discuss why she felt the need to be in an adulterous relationship. He didn’t pat her head and look for someone or something in her past to blame. He told her to “go”, action verb, get up, walk away, move forward, don’t just stand still, but go, live your life, continue on…BUT…”sin no more”. Don’t repeat you’re past mistakes, don’t do it again, in other words…Stop It! (My friend Karen talks more about Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor here, go check it out, but be sure to come back!)

I had to come to the realization that the only way I was going to be able to move forward in my life, live my life, and find hope, joy and happiness was if I stopped blaming, being angry, and stopped making excuses. I had to stop it.

What are you doing that you need to stop? (Take a minute right now and think about it.)

Depression, anger, bitterness, sadness, acts of self-destruction. Feelings that we can look at, hold under a microscope, peel back layer by layer, point the blame at others or even at ourselves. Ultimately we have to come to the realization that whatever came before is over and done, there is no looking back, and that we must stop it so that we can move forward and live this life we have been given. If we are still breathing then God has a job for us to do, but we will not be able to DO IT if we don’t STOP IT.

God, thank you for forgiving me. Help me to stop those things that I do that are not for your glory and help me to move forward and sin no more. In God’s name we pray. Amen.

Contest Winner and The Easy Bake Oven

2009-12-08T07:07:00.002-05:00

Good morning everyone! Yesterday was one of the best days of my life. Turning 40 was something I looked forward to but dreaded in some respects but God is so cool that He will put women into your life that can model what being 40 and 45 and 50 and 60+ is supposed to look like and these are women that do it with grace and style and joy in their heart. No matter how old we are there are women that have gone before and that we can look to to come alongside and take that next step, but don't forget as you are looking forward, there are women coming along behind you. That's why you have two hands, one to reach forward, and one to reach behind. That way we all get further on this journey of life together.

Speaking of moving along on the journey. The winner of the contest yesterday was #4 Mama C (Carol). Congratulations Carol!!! Thank you for sharing your favorite birthday! Get ready because the book, "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God." is going to rock your world.

Thank you to everyone else who played! The book is available at C3 in The Source so stop by there and get a copy, or two, or three. They are 9.99 and are great gifts too.

Sorry, don't mean to sound like an Infomoricial but it really is an amazing read.

On to the story of the Easy Bake Oven. For my 40th birthday yesterday my WH (wonderful husband) and DD (darling daughter) gave me with an Easy Bake Oven.

I mention in my testimony that growing up I got everything I needed and almost all that I wanted but that I was still coping with not getting an Easy Bake Oven (EBO), it is mentioned in humor and is a way that people can connect with me. I love to make people laugh and the best way to do that is to pull from your own life. But anyway....

We all have things in our life from childhood on through our teenage years that we didn't get, okay, most of us do. My parents gave me so much and yes I was spoiled but in that secret corner of my heart as a child it was the EBO that held all the happiness in the world. The EBO would give me popularity, it would make all my friends want to come over and play at my house, it would give me the pass I thought I needed to become a "cool kid", not to mention I could bake those awesome cakes in my room and how neat would that be? The world said I needed the EBO to become truly happy. Sears WishBook said I needed it, the commercials on Saturday morning cartoons said I needed it, and dag-on-it, the girl next door had one and she was older and cooler and I wanted to be like her! (Does any of this sound familiar?)

But I didn't get an EBO. They certainly have changed in 35 years haven't they?

My parents were fully aware of how accident prone their little girl was and the EBO required electricity, very hot light bulbs, and a daughter who was easily distracted and just a bit clumsy, okay, I said I would be honest on my blog no matter what and I can trip over a wind gust, okay? These things are not a good combination and I was likely to suffer 3rd degree burns or burn our house down. They put those warnings on electrical applicances for a reason, and I could just see me thinking that taking my EBO in the bathroom to make a cake while I soaked in the tub was a win/win situation (hey, I was 5, gimme a break). But my parents knew better.

I talk about the EBO, not because of the oven itself , but to make a point . We have all been children who have been denied something. It might have been due to the cost or the impracticality of it. For most of us that denial comes out of love from others who are older and wiser. We can focus on what we can't have and allow that to take our joy away, or we can be thankful that there are others who care enough about us to say no.

You don't explain to a child all the ins and outs of why and why not they can't have something you just say, "No." but then my amazing mom brought me into the kitchen and sat me on the counter and taught me how to cook at a real oven with real appliances. She gave me the beaters and she gave me the bowl and the spoon to lick afterwards but more importantly she gave me time and attention that 100 EBO's could never have given me (not to mention kept us out of more doctor's offices). My parents knew what was right for their daughter.

Guess what? The God of the Universe loves us so much that sometimes He says no because He knows better then anyone what is best for each of us. Do not allow your life to lose it's shine, do not allow your heart to lose it's joy, and do not allow your mind to dwell on what you see as a rejection when God says no, because if you listen, you will probably hear Him say, "No because I have something better." He wants to spend time with you, to teach you and to help you to live the life that He has given you and not a fake one.

I still love to bake and I still lick the bowl and honestly I feel a little resentful when I have to give my daughter the beater (just being real here). She and I are going to have a blast with my EBO and there will be laughter and stories to tell, but it will also be a reminder to me that sometimes what God has for us is so much MORE then what the world around us tries to convince us that we will never be complete without ______. What was/is your Easy Bake Oven?

I'm celebrating the creating of my belly button!

2009-12-07T00:01:00.001-05:00

Today, 40 years ago, I entered the world. I had no idea how fast the time would pass, no idea the many adventures I would embark upon, nor how much heart ache and tears I would shed over the past 40 years. I’ve been a bit apprehensive about this birthday. It’s like a pinnacle in some respects and no I don’t mean that it’s all downhill from here, it’s more like now I am officially 100% an adult but I don’t feel like one. I certainly don’t feel 40. I don’t feel like those adults I saw as a kid who looked and acted so old. Yes, the hair is a bit gray, and there are lines on my face that weren’t there a few years ago. My eyes have officially become 40, I look like I’m playing with a yo-yo when I answer my phone in order to see who is calling. But, I still wanted to sit on Santa’s lap when I saw him at the store yesterday and tell him my hearts wish and my secret wants. I still get excited about seeing my friends and spending time talking with girlfriends. I recently reconnected with my oldest friend, the sister of my heart, and it has felt like a piece of my heart has been put back in place and that makes me feel young.
There have been a lot of challenges throughout my 40 years, but now even though I don’t feel very mature in some situations, I have matured, matured in a way that I didn’t know I would or even could. My faith has grown up. I no longer feel like a child in my walk with God. I no longer need to be spoon-fed and I don’t need someone to hold my hand and walk me through passages of scripture. I have gone through the rebellious period that teenagers go through when God wasn’t cool and I could do it all myself. I think I was spiritually stunted in my growth for a long time because it took a while to turn back to my Heavenly Father. But I have grown, grown to the point that I can be thankful for everything that I have experienced.

Every. Single. Thing.

I still have questions about things, the intricacies of certain scripture passages and how to apply it to my life, but now I have more then just a religion. My faith is 100% totally based on my relationship with the amazing God of the Universe. I never thought that the trials and tribulations of my past would be something I would ever be thankful for, but now I can speak to others, share my story, and tell them how much God loves them too but more importantly, because it’s the hardest thing to understand, I can explain to them how He forgives them as well. Knowing that someone is forgiven opens the floodgates to healing and finally peace and joy.

Growing up in my faith has taken years but now I know how to battle Satan and I know how to forgive others and how to forgive myself. But true growth comes from the fact that now I can be thankful for all that I have been through and all that is to come. I know, no matter what, that now I’m growing up in God and maturing the relationship with Him and this is better then all the wishes on all my birthday candles coming true.

Over the next 6 weeks I am going to be doing a “coffee talk” using Lysa TerKeurst book, “What Happens When Women Say Yes To God.” This is one of my favorite books and did a lot to help me grow in my relationship with God. I'm still growing and not just older so some of my girlfriends are going to be coming to my house on Tuesday nights (starting 12/15) for a couple of hours to discuss the chapter that they read and how they are going to be saying “yes to God” in their life. If you are in the neighborhood and want to join us, just let me know.

I will also be blogging about each chapter on Wednesday morning so we can do a “coffee talk” here as well every Wednesday so if you aren't close by and want to join us, just let me know. I'll be doing some fun stuff on the blog as well while we take this journey.

I am giving away one copy of “What Happens When Women Say Yes To God?” today for my birthday. Please leave a comment on the blog answering the question:
“What was your favorite birthday?”

Contest closes at 12:00 Monday night. Please leave email address so that I can contact you on Tuesday morning!

Sword of the Spirit

2009-12-06T07:15:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 6:17
“Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

I was so excited about the helmet of salvation and protecting our minds from satan’s attack in my last post that I decided to break this up into two entries and really give undivided attention to the sword of the Spirit.

We need to remember that Paul is writing to the Ephesians a group of Christians that lived in Ephesus. The time was about 60 A.D.

It is believed that this letter was intended to circulate throughout all the different churches (first chain letter.) I doubt if he requested anyone to send dishcloths or a recipe to the first person and add their name to the bottom though.

A sword is a weapon. It is used to fight the enemy and many people read this verse and relegate the sword of the Spirit to the Bible, the Word of God and that is what it means by very broad definition. However, if we look at this a bit closer I think we will all be blown away at exactly what God has placed into our keeping to fight the enemy with.

In a fight a soldier had to be adept at many different types of swords. There was not only one sword that fit all occasions. There were long swords, short swords, broad swords, and daggers. A soldier had to be equipped to fight with each different type of sword and in order to use the sword effectively a solider had to study and practice and know the parts of his sword.

If you look above at the sword you will see that there are many different parts to the whole. There is the pommel and the grip; this is where a solider would hold the sword. The cross-guard protected the hand of the swordsman from his own sword and the pommel gave (It is impossible to fight if the arm is rendered useless.) As we move down the body of the sword, to the blade itself we can see that there are different attributes and benefits. The pommel helps hold the hilt together, but what you cannot see is so important. It’s called the tang. You do not see the tang when you examine the sword, but it is placed there during a swords’ creation and is essential for joining the blade and hilt together.

While moving down the sword, just beyond the hilt to about halfway down the blade is the strongest part of the sword. It is also called the “forte”. Forte also refers to someone’s strength, something at which they excel.

As we move down the blade, we reach the central ridge. This is the weakest part of the sword and is also called its foible. A foible is also translated to mean a minor weakness or failing of character; slight flaw or defect.

Now that you probably know more about swords then you EVER wanted to know, lets look again at Ephesians 6:17.

“…the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

There are many of us that are misunderstanding this verse. It is not applying to just “The Bible.” We have to go deeper and look at how the King of Kings wielded this mighty weapon.

Each verse is a sword and we have to understand The Word, read The Word, and memorize The Word so that we may fight. Satan knows the bible; he knows the Word of God and cannot stand against it. Look at Mathew 4:1-11. Satan battles Jesus in the desert. He tempts Him and Jesus, verse by verse, wields the sword of the Spirit and defeats the King of Lies. But Jesus had to know the scripture, just as we have to know it. He had been in the desert 40 days, he was physically hungry and his body was weakened. Satan attacked during what he perceived as a weak period.

Satan said to him, “ If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

How many times have you been tempted? “If you only had ______, if you could only do ______, but it is only ________, then you would be _______. You can fill in the blanks, we all have the blanks and the weaknesses and the temptation.

But Jesus knew His heavenly Father’s Word and fought back against that temptation by saying,

“It is written: “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

Can’t you just hear the clanging of the blades as they come together? See the sparks fly? Feel the vibration flow down the blade into the hilt and up the arm. We are at war and the battles will be intense.

Sharpen your sword and make sure your blade is straight and true. Reading our bible and comprehending and memorizing scripture makes your sword arm strong and perfects your aim.

Accepting God into your life connects your hand (the hilt) to God’s word through the tang (Holy Spirit) living in you. It cannot be seen with the naked eye, but the Holy Spirit is absolutely imperative to hold it all together.

And we must come together as soldiers in this war so my strengths and weakness can be complimented or covered over by your strengths and weakness. (Forte and foibles)

Find a bible that you can understand and memorize God’s word, discuss it with fellow Christians and get involved in learning more every day about how to fight the good fight. God wins the war, but the battles are intense. Armor up and ensure your blade is sharp. We are in the thick of this battle, up to the hilt. From head to foot, protection is important, but the most important is what you use to fight back and defeat the enemy. Sharpen your sword.

Helmet of Salvation

2009-12-04T06:58:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 6: 10-18

The Armor of God

Today I want to draw your attention to two parts of this passage. First, verse 17 states,

“Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

The helmet of salvation. It’s not a stretch to understand the importance of protecting our heads. We wear helmets when we ride a bike, motorcycle, or play football (go Heels), etc. Many jobs require us to wear helmets as well. A helmet is required to protect our skulls from injury. There are people that refuse to wear a helmet because it doesn’t look cool, it’s uncomfortable, or they are under the false impression that nothing could happen to them. Unfortunately, there are many examples of people whose lives are forever changed all due to the fact they were not wearing a helmet and were injured or died. There are also a lot of examples of people who were wearing helmets, which protected them when involved in horrible accidents. I know that you all know the importance of protecting our skulls from injury but what about our minds and our thoughts?

When we put on the FULL armor of God that requires the helmet of salvation but you don’t walk around day to day with a helmet on, (perhaps if you are as prone to accidents as I am you should though). Again, we are talking about imagery. Understand what a helmet does, what it protects but also because it protects, what does it allow you to do? When you have on a helmet you can walk into a construction site and your skull is protected from falling debris, low hanging beams, harmful things that are all around you. You can walk with confidence and concentrate on your job. The helmet of salvation does the exact same thing.

Ephesians 1:13 (New International Version)

13And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,

Having believed. We are required to accept the word of truth, that God sent his one and only Son, SO THAT, who ever believes in HIM shall have eternal and everlasting life. The helmet of salvation covers our mind because satan will come at us intellectually, tempting us to question, to doubt, to distrust. He did it with Adam and Eve in the garden. There wasn’t 1,001 different temptations running around the garden, there was only one and Satan used it, “did God really tell you that you would die if you ate of the fruit of this tree.” Doubt, loop hole, temptation.
But God…

God knew that we could not defeat Satan on our own and so He, in his wisdom, provides us with a beautiful set of instructions on how we are to fight my friends. We are to protect our minds but reading God’s word, praying and deepening our relationship with God. We are to trust God in all that we do, not just when it’s convenient or when we are going through things that are really hard. How long do you want to be in a relationship with someone who only comes to you when they want something?

There are so many things about the helmet of salvation and all that it covers (pun intended) but for today, and due to the fact I have to get to work, accept that your salvation covers you from the head down, it protects you from a horrible existence (hell) and it also enables you to walk through this life and do the job that God has created you to do.

God, thank you for the awesome gift of salvation that you gave to us when you sent your son to walk on this earth, lead by example a perfect existence, and then paid the ultimate price by being nailed to the cross. Help us to honor that gift every day in our walk with you God by living each day as your humble servants. You are wonderful and marvelous and how amazing it is that You love each one of us. Thank you God.

I thought we would cover both the Helmet of Salvation and the Sword of the Spirit but we will talk about the sword tomorrow (Saturday post!!!). I’m also going to be doing a giveaway this weekend for my birthday so be sure to stop back by.

Ephesians 6:16 Shield of Faith

2009-12-02T06:57:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 6:16

In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

I have always pictured a shield this way. A single component, used in a battle one on one.

However, a shield can also be implemented with a group of soldiers in a very effective way. There are several references made to how Mark Antony used the shield to overcome insurmountable odds, however, the soldiers had to work together.

Cassius Dio writes about the testudo when describing the campaign of Mark Antony in 36 B.C. : "this testudo and the way in which it is formed are as follows. The Baggage animals, the light-armed troops, and the cavalry are placed in the center of the army. the heavy-armed troops who use the oblong, curved and cylindrical shields are drawn up around the outside, making a rectangular figure, and, facing outward and holding their arms at the ready, they enclose the rest. the others who have flat shields, form a compact body in the center and raise their shields over the heads of all the others, so that nothing but shields can be seen in every part of the phalanx alike and all the men by the density of the formation are under shelter from missiles. Indeed, it is so marvelously strong that men can walk upon it and whenever they come to a narrow ravine, even horses and vehicles can be driven over it. "

A shield protects from a direct or glancing blow. It protects in close battle and in attacks made from a distance, but, if we do not know how to use a shield then it becomes useless. Shields can be very heavy and awkward to use without pratice and strenthening our muscles. A young man trained from a very early age with lighter, less cumbersome pieces of armor until he became comfortable and then he would be given increasingly heavier weapons. A solider was equiped for battle over a period of time, he did not just wake up one morning and ta-da, he was a soldier ready to go to war. We do not wake up and “poof, we are Christians ready to do battle.” Just as a solider prepares for battle every day of his life, Christians must prepare every day. Our shield of faith is part of that preperation.

Satan will attack from each and every corner of our lives. Areas that we feel we have in control, Satan will undermine, relationships that we think are solid, Satan will try to erode, beliefs that we have held as sacred Satan can attempt to chip away. Friends, it is all around us, every single day we are in a battle with the king of lies and deceit. By weilding the shield of faith we can protect not only ourselves but those around us from satan’s attack. How do we use this weapon though? Dr. Martin Luther writes it better then I ever could. Read his words on faith here.

faith is God's work in us, that changes us and gives new birth from God. (John 1:13)

So our faith is something that we can only obtain by our trust in God the Father. Faith is not created out of what we “do” or how “good” we are. (You can’t do enough and you can’t be good enough.) We do not know what lies ahead. (But that’s okay, God does) We cannot know what tomorrow is going to bring. (But that’s okay, God knows). We can only move forward in faith believeing that our Heavenly Father will be there to give us the strength we need to get through each day.

That strength comes through faith, and we strengthen our faith by using it daily, so we can boldly step into battle, raise our shield and know that with the shield of faith in place satan’s arrows will fall short, his blows will be glancing, and he will not be able to get to our hearts. We will be able to hold everything together with God’s truth (belt of truth), that our hearts will be protected with God’s armor (breastplate of righteousness) and because we know that what we believe is The Truth we will be able to stand firm because are feet are fitted with the gospel of peace. And just like the soldiers who stood together and lifted their shields, how much stronger are we as Christians when we come together and stand side by side, and can move as one, protecting our brothers and sisters and moving through this battle together.

Start working your faith muscle. Trust in God starting today in ALL THINGS. Allow Him to lead you in this battle. Reach out to your friends that are Christians and stand beside them. Your shield doesn’t have to be huge. Your shoes don’t have to fit perfectly, your belt doesn’t have to be through each belt loop and your breastplate can be a little small right now. It’s okay, but stand my friend. Put it all on, others can help you get used to it. There is no time to wait until you “get it right”. We are at war and today is the day that you can lift your shield of faith and step into battle.

Armor of God: Feet

2009-12-01T06:55:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 6:14-15

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.”

Our feet. Take a look at the verse again. “your feet fitted”. We know that having shoes protect our feet, and it’s not a reach to understand that having shoes on in battle helps us to move and to attack. But the verse talks about having our feet “fitted”. Custom made.

http://www.pastryshoescollection.com/2009/01/06/top-10-most-expensive-shoes-in-the-world/

I have never had custom made shoes. I know you can relate when I talk about having to “break in a new pair of shoes.” It’s uncomfortable. And there is nothing worse then having a pair of shoes that just don’t fit right. We get blisters and calluses and no matter how cute the shoes might be, if they don’t fit, then we could wind up hurting our feet. I have several great pairs of shoes that I bought in the thrill of the moment. That after I got them home and got over the shopping thrill (I know, it’s a curse) I realized that the shoes were a bit tight, (well maybe I could stretch it out), or it rubbed a bit on the heel (oh, I’ll just bend it and help it), or the toes were a bit to narrow (again, they will stretch) and we all know what happened to the shoes. I’ve worn them a couple of times, only to wind up taking them off mid-way through whatever function I was attending, so consumed with the ache and pain in my feet that I couldn’t enjoy wherever I was and could only anticipate leaving and taking the bane of my existence off my feet.

But friends, we are at war and the armor we need has to fit properly.

Soldiers in battle would have their shoes fitted by cobblers. They would take a sketch of the soldiers’ feet and would mold the shoes. The shoes became like an extension of their body because they were formed around each foot. The shoes did not have to be “broken in”. There was no “getting used to” a new pair of shoes. The shoes fit because they were created for the one who was wearing them. When the soldier walked into battle he could do it with confidence, the safety of his feet were not in question because they were protected and he could advance on the enemy and move forward.

This is what God instructs us to do in Ephesians 6:14-15. By fitting our feet with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace we are equipped to go into battle with our feet standing on the gospel of peace.

OK, what is the “gospel of peace” and how do we stand on it. The gospel of peace is the understanding of the Good News. But what if you don’t know what the Good News is?

This is the good news, the great commission, and what everything in our beliefs as Christians is about.

And that of we believe in our hearts (which is protected by the breastplate of righteousness) and say with our mouths (which speaks the truth that we learned from the belt of truth) that Christ is the risen Lord, we will be saved. (This is the gospel of peace).

Having this knowledge, this understanding, and firmly standing on that belief, will give you the protection and the confidence to step boldly and proclaim to others what you have been given.

The gospel promises that peace and God’s word proclaims, “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” (Romans 10:15).

Sweetheart it’s time to take off those ill-fitting, leg cramping, blister causing shoes that look really cute on the outside but are cutting off the circulation to your soul on the inside and step into the peace that never goes out of style, always fits, and looks good with everything. Stand firm.

The Breastplate of Righteousness

2009-11-26T08:46:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 6:14 (NIV)

14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place.

A breastplate was used during a time of battle to protect the heart, the internal organs, the weakest and most vulnerable part of the body. Righteous by definition is:

right·eous (rī'chəs) adj.
          1. Morally upright; without guilt or sin: a righteous parishioner.
          2. In accordance with virtue or morality: a righteous judgment.
          3. Morally justifiable: righteous anger.

To be without guilt or sin. Are any of us without sin? No, that is why we have Jesus, and with Jesus we can embrace the relationship with God, a relationship that is without guilt and without sin. To go boldly before our heavenly Father, to thank Him for our blessings that He bestows and to ask for His aid in our endeavors.

That’s the explanation for the verse but how do we apply it? We have already covered the fact that we are at war. The battles that are waged daily between Satan and God’s children are brutal. Our first step is to recognize the enemy and how he attacks. Satan comes against us is our hearts, our emotions, and our feelings. Feelings can be influenced and changed. Feelings are not always constant and we need to realize that Satan knows that too. He can use the lies that he whispers to make us doubt, to make us feel that God cannot forgive us, to harbor unkind feelings towards our family or friends. But with the Breastplate of Righteousness we can move into battle with our heart protected and our feelings true, because they are protected.

When Satan attacks he has many things in his arsenal, but in my opinion, one of his most powerful weapons is to attack our faith. If we start doubting God’s word, His truth, then Satan has made what could be a fatal blow directly to our heart. By striving to be virtuous, moral, without guilt or sin, we can heal the wounds from the past and reinforce the armor for future attacks because my friends, the attacks will come. We need to protect our hearts with the breastplate, to keep all the tender parts safe, our heart whole, and we must step boldly into battle with the knowledge that we are morally upright, without guilt or sin, and wrap our hearts with righteousness because of the sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. Armor up, the battle is at hand.

The Belt Of Truth

2009-11-23T21:23:00.000-05:00

Last week I started talking about the armor of God from Ephesians 6:10-20 but my ADD kicked in and I got distracted. Seriously…it did…oh look…shiny…

Other things had come up, like the porcine plague and I put the armor of God on the back burner. It’s my blog and I can do that.

So today I wanted to talk more about the armor God has equipped His followers with and how we can use it today. Not many of us have need for real chain mail or plate mail armor. It looks really neat but it’s hard to keep polished and really uncomfortable on the commute to work, not to mention all the weird looks you would get from the carpool at your kids’ school. No, the armor that the Bible talks about is figurative. I had never heard about the armor of God before until last year when I was trying to find something to speak about at the She Speaks conference. I am a very visual speaker, I move a lot and I like to have things for people to relate to. That way if they don’t remember what I said, maybe one of my visuals will lock in a thought or an idea that will simmer in their subconscious and God will use that as a trigger for how they can apply it.

In my talk about the armor of God I was equipped with what I pictured as my “belt of truth”. It was a tool belt that I blinged out with rhinestones and crosses (hey, I told you I saw something shiny). In my tool belt I carried my journal, my bible, my coffee cup and my pens and markers. But we are talking about the belt today. The belt of truth. Ephesians 6:14 states,

“Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist..”

Yes, there is more to it, stop rushing me. Truth. Truth is the key to everything. If you know the truth then nothing can come against you. Satan uses lies and misunderstandings, criticism and blame, to cause a rift amongst believers. If Satan can cause two Christians to come against each other, then he has won half the battle already. Think about this for a moment, how many times have you jumped to a conclusion, went with the wrong information, ran off at the mouth, spread gossip, or whispered a secret that caused pain or hurt to someone else? All action, all detrimental and all something you probably shouldn’t have done, but look back up at the scripture, “stand firm…” Don’t move, be still (and know that I am ...sorry, ADD moment again.).

Truth.

Jesus starts so many of his lessons with, “I tell you the truth...” John 14:6 states,

“ 6Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”

So your belt, what holds it all together, what binds you, what ties all the rest of your armor together is truth. God’s truth, which can be found in His son, Jesus.

I believe that it’s listed as the first piece of armor because in order to have the rest of it, you have to have that piece first. None of the other works without the truth. I cannot have righteousness, or readiness, or peace, or faith and I cannot fight the Evil one without Jesus, without truth. If Satan is the king of lies, then who do you think is the King of Truth? The truth that God equips us with through His word is how we fight Satan but we can only fight when we know how to use the weapon. We have to learn God’s truth. Satan’s lies permeates everything, the television we watch, the music we listen to, the books we read, conversations we have, conversations our kids have, Satan is everywhere, but the cool thing about that is, so is God and His truth works against every single one of Satan’s lies. Get out your tool belt, bling it up if you want to, and put it on. Equip yourself with the truth, God’s truth, so that you can fight Satan’s lies, the ones that come against you in your day to day battle, not only with the outside world, but with the lies that Satan whispers in your head.

Here are a few weapons for your arsenal.

Psalm 139: 13-16

Philippians 1:9-10

Romans 8:38-39

These are only a few of the wonderful truths that can be found in scripture. Read them, study them, and understand that they were written for us and for the battle that we are fighting every single day.

God Power Washed My Heart.

2009-11-20T07:52:00.000-05:00

My WH (wonderful husband) got a great deal for a power washer from a friend at work. He brought it home and tried it out on our front walkway. I had not noticed how dirty it was because it happened gradually, it covered all of it and it was just part of my surroundings. I didn’t realize until WH power washed only one part of the walkway.
That cold, rocky concrete was a perfect example of my life on display. If you have read much of my blog, or listened to my testimony, you know some of the major obstacles I have dealt with. Some of those were due to my own decisions and some were due to others, but all of it left a mark. The guilt and pain and failures added layer upon layer of dirt and filth to my heart but in many ways I ignored it and in some cases didn’t even realize it. Many times lies and hurts, mistakes, and disobedience can sneak into the cracks and crevices of our hearts and we don’t even realize the squalor we are living in, or not living, but only existing.

But God…

God wants to clean that up. He wants to not only forgive us but also give us the ability to forgive ourselves. Yes, sometimes even now, I can slip down into the dirt of what was before, but the Bible says in Hebrews 10: 22-23 to

“Let us draw near to God with sincere heart in FULL ASSURANCE of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies WASHED with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.”

See, proof, God power washed my heart.

God has such a great sense of humor because while standing on our porch looking at how nice that one part of the path to our front door was I was blown away by an ah-ha moment. That small part of the walkway showed, in sharp contrast, how dirty the rest of the sidewalk had gotten. I had no idea how filthy it was until I saw how nice it could be, and what a difference getting rid of the dirt made.

What about your dirt? How does your past impact you today? How does it impact your future? When you ask God into your heart and you repent of your sin, He washes all that away.

There are still days that I feel like He truly needs a power washer with a brutal spray to dislodge some of the things I keep picking back up and carrying around, but beloved, He's already wiped it away! I am the one who choses to go back to it, I am the one that choses to dwell on the mistakes in the past. He no longer sees it. It is gone and He doesn't want me to keep returning to what was before. He wants me to concentrate on Him, just Him and His perfect will for my life. Isaiah 43:25 says,

"I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."

If the God of the Universe loves me enough to forget all my sins so that He and I can have a relationship, let me repeat that, THE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE... then shouldn't I love Him enough to accept it and not try to limit Him? He can do it and to believe otherwise is limiting God. God’s power is without limit; it is only us who limits God. There is NOTHING that can separate us from Gods love, except our refusal to accept it.

My life was very much like that sidewalk until I asked God to wash all the dirt and garbage away. There is a constant reminder when I leave my home of who I was before and who I am now. I don’t know if I want WH to power wash the whole thing yet.

Lonely

2009-11-18T06:10:00.001-05:00

Have you ever had a time when you thought you were going to go in one direction but you wound up going somewhere completely different? Sometimes due to your own decisions and sometimes due to circumstances totally beyond your control? Really, you have? Cool, I’m not all by myself. Sometimes I sure do feel that way though.

I’m not writing about Ephesians today. We will come back to the armor of God because I truly think it is important, but I don’t have all of it together and God is just placing so much more on my heart that I need to talk to you about.

I want to talk to you about being lonely. There is a big difference between being alone and being lonely. I think Satan loves to see God’s children lonely because then they can become vulnerable and weak. From the beginning of time God knew that it was not good for man to be alone, so He created Eve. Now God was with Adam in the garden, talking with Adam, hanging out, but He knew, in all His infinite wisdom, that man needed someone on his level, a helper. (Genesis 2:18)

Time passed, families were created, the parents looked after the children, the children grew up, they lived together or next door to each other, the older ones took care of the younger ones, the elderly were honored and respected and provided for. They worked together, they ate together, they lived together, and they prayed together.

Growing up my brother and I would see at least one set of our grandparents, and more then likely we would see both. Weekends were spent seeing family, connecting, helping each other, and just being there. I spent Sunday afternoons playing with my cousins in the yard, being a Charlie’s Angel, or getting scared of Big Foot footprints (AUNT ROSAAAAAA!!!!!), or just lying on our backs under the big trees in Grandma’s front yard or playing with the buttons in her button box.

Every Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter it was expected that you would get together. It was important, it was a priority. Yes, the holidays were hectic and yes it was exhausting but there were memories being made and laughter being shared, and stories being passed down from generation to generation and roots were growing deeper and intertwining, making lives stronger, richer, and more.

Now my grandmothers are both gone and our families are all distant. Even my relatives that are close by I only see occasionally. My daughter is growing up in a different environment. Her father is hours away and only gets to see her sporadically. She sees his side of the family maybe once a year. And my side of the family over time things have been said, feelings have been hurt, and lives have gotten busy, too busy and every holiday season seems to become more of a hassle, everyone in more of a hurry to come and go, and I can’t help but be sad because I miss it. I miss my grandmothers, I miss my aunts and uncles and cousins, and I miss the connections that we had.

It’s not good for man to be alone and I believe that even though you might not get along with everyone in your family, God put you in that family for a reason, because they need you and you need them.

So, Uncle Larry, Aunt Sylvia, Uncle Rodney, Aunt Caroline, Uncle Andy and Aunt Pat, and Granddaddy Ben, Uncle Ray and Aunt Rosa, Uncle Corbett and Aunt Debbie, and to all of my cousins, their spouses and children, know that you are loved, you are thought of and the memories that you have given me I treasure in my heart. And know that you are missed very, very much.

To Grandmamma Williams and Grandmamma Johnson, I miss you both so much. What I wouldn’t give for a sermon and a song.

Granddaddy Williams, I miss the blueberries and walking to Jack Rabbits. I cannot eat a blueberry and not think of you. I eat blueberries almost every day.

I love you.

Leigh

Extreme Makeover part 2

2009-11-16T05:49:00.002-05:00

I talked a little bit about God making over my life earlier this month (here). My life needed an extreme makeover in the worst way. Isn’t that what God does when we ask Him to come into our lives? When we accept Jesus Christ as our savior and are born again, that’s when the old life is blown up, just like they do on the show, and the house (our hearts and souls) are gutted, cleared out and a new way made for God to come in and take up residence and make Himself at home.

For a long time, even though I had accepted Christ at the age of 7, I was only letting Him rent my heart. I wasn’t allowing Him to take ownership over everything. I wasn't sure how. In reading Ephesians 6 Paul talks about what it looks like to put on the armor of God. Armor? "What do we need armor for?" you might ask, I know I did.

Because simply put, we are at war. Not a war of guns and tanks, but of good over evil, God over satan, and light over darkness. I know who wins (I read the end of the book) but that doesn't mean that we all get out alive, there will be casualties and wounded and those that are lost. But Paul talks about the armor that God equips us with in order to fight, to overcome, and win the battles of our day to day life.

The Armor of God

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:10-12)

I had heard about the armor of God. Putting on that armor, and really didn’t “get it” but going to Renaissance fairs I was able to see real armor, how it worked and why is was so important. The armor that we need for today though is not chainmail or leather. This week I am going to explore the different aspects of that armor, one piece at a time and figure out how it applies to my life and my walk with Christ.

Most of us don't have an opportunity to see real armor at work on the battlefield, but one person most can remember is Wonder Woman. I use to play Charlie's Angels and Wonder Woman with my cousin on Sundays at my grandmothers (love you Sharon!). We all try to be Wonder Woman, mom, wife, boss, employee, volunteer, leader, team member, friend, family, and so much more, no wonder we are all exhausted.

I am not Wonder Woman, but the God of the Universe and all His ways holds enormous wonder for me. Wonder Woman was a fictional character but her creators understood armor, and having protection. So does our Creator and unless we understand what our weapons and our armor is, how can we use it to protect and fight the enemy? Come with me as we journey into Ephesians 6 and learn about the armor of God and how it can help us get through our battle of everyday life.

Veterans Day 2009

2009-11-11T07:10:00.001-05:00

Today our country stops and thanks those who have served in the military. I served briefly in the US Navy and learned some very important lessons during that time in my life.

1. I learned that people with the same goal working together can accomplish anything.
2. I learned that no matter if you agree or disagree with your boss, that there is the right way and the wrong way to voice that, and you must always do it with respect.
3. I learned that one negative person can impact the morale and undermine the common goal of a group.
4. I learned about paying attention to detail.
5. I learned, even if you don’t understand, that you have to obey, because the person over you knows more then you do and someone’s life might depend on it.
6. And I learned that you don’t just do “enough” you go above and beyond.

I never went into combat, I never left the US and some of those things I had been taught as a child, however, there is a difference I believe in being taught something and actually learning it. I was “taught” French in high school but unless you want me to sing about planting a vineyard I never learned French. I could not go to France today and converse with anyone. Every one of these lessons, and these are just a few, I have applied to my entire life, not just my military one.

But there are some people that I want to thank today who went above and beyond in their service.

My grandfather, Ben Johnson. He served in WWII and saw more then I will ever know. Thank you Granddaddy. I know the military was different back then, the world seemed so much different, but you went and you fought and you came back home (thank God you did). You are in your 80’s now and you talk more about the times of your youth then you do about yesterday. Thank you for helping to make sure your daughter was safe, your granddaughter was safe, and your great-granddaughter was safe. You don’t claim to be a hero, or some great man, you just went and did what had to be done. Thank you.

My ex-husband, Danny Rider. You serve our country now and have for years. Thank you for all that you give. Even though you and I have had our ups and downs there are two things I could never repay you for. Most importantly is our daughter who amazes me every day. The second is your commitment to the US Navy. It is hard and you have sacrificed much, it does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I am proud of you and all you have accomplished. Thank you.

If you see a veteran today, thank them, but thank them again tomorrow. Their sacrifice and willingness to serve impacts their entire life, not just one day.
God Bless.

Pressing on Toward the Goal

2009-11-09T07:21:00.000-05:00

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:12-14)

I am not perfect and the attempt at perfection is exhausting but I do “press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” Accepting Christ into your heart and deciding to live for Him changes you. For some the changes are drastic and very apparent to those that are close to them, for others the changes are more subtle, a change of thought, a change of view, a change of heart but there is a constant transforming of the mind.

I had tried to lose weight for years, following one diet after another Optifast, OptiSlim, Weight Watchers, Slim-Fast, and some really bizarre diets as well, cabbage, grapefruit, good grief it ran the gamut. Some worked for a short time, I lost over 80 pounds on Weight Watchers, but I found it again and it came back with friends, and by January, 2007 I weighed 287 pounds. That’s two people in one. My legs hurt, my hips hurt, I was ashamed, humiliated, and I could not see me beyond the layers of fat the encased my body. I put on a good show about it, made people laugh because if they were laughing with me they weren’t laughing at me but inside I was in so much pain, physically and emotionally and so I underwent a drastic transformation. I went to a doctor and had gastric bypass surgery. I was scared but I was more afraid not to have it. I was only 36 and I wanted to grow old with my husband and see my daughter grow up and I wanted to live, really live, and for me it wasn’t possible hiding behind all the weight and I could not do it by myself. Satan tried to convince me that yet again I was a failure but that was a lie (he is the king of lies you know). I had to find a tool that worked for me and for me, surgery worked. The steps that I took to undergo the outward transformation were very much like the transformation that was taking place in my heart. (This is me in a play, yes it's a wig, but the rest, that was all me.)

I found an expert in the field, my surgeon. I asked questions and became educated about what was going to happen and I researched. I meet with others that were either going to have the surgery or were further along on their journey for support and advice and encouragement. Once all the questions were answered it was time for the surgery and then my faith in my surgeon and his staff had to step in because when they put me on the operating room table I was no longer in control.

The surgeon performed the mechanical portion of the change in me. He made my stomach smaller so that my capacity for holding food was less and then he sewed me up and walked away. His job was over. He had made the structural change but the rest was up to me.

After leaving the hospital I had instructions the surgeon gave me, but the decision was up to me. I had to exercise, but that was up to me. The surgeon had given me a tool so that my body could be transformed but if I didn’t follow the directions and use all the tools properly, I would not reap the benefits. I eventually reached my weight loss goal but I will continue to use the tools so that I can maintain my weight and not start inching back up the scales. Those pounds come on slowly and just a couple pounds turns into a few, then 10, then 20, etc.

My weight loss journey is a great parallel to what God has done in my life over the last 3 years as well.

A change had to be made and I needed an expert, so I went to God, my heavenly Father, who loves me more then anything. I researched and asked questions and found a church where I could get more information. I joined a connect group and a ministry team so that I would have people who were where I was on my walk and further along on their journey for advice. And over time I had to let go and just allow the surgeon of my soul to do His work in my life. He is cutting out the junk, cleaning out the garbage and the lies that have been killing my spirit and crippling my walk. Unlike my gastric bypass surgeon, my heavenly Father will not close me up and walk away, He will stay with me forever, but He will also be constantly working on me as well and sometimes it will hurt, and sometimes it is hard, but this internal transformation enables me to

“Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus”.

My goal. My weight loss goal was 150 pounds and I have reached that. But my heavenly goal is to become more like Jesus. Will I ever reach it? No, I won’t, but I have an expert living in me, one who is helping me to move towards it every day but just like the surgery, I have to make the decision to use the tools He has given me, prayer, reading my bible, spending time with Him. It is still my decision and one that I make every day. This picture is my mom, me, and my daughter, all God's Masterpieces.

Thank You Father for being there when I called out.
Thank You Father for allowing your little one to come back home.
Thank You Father for listening to my fears and my frustrations and
Thank You Father for the transformation that You are performing in my life.
My trust and faith are in You God. Amen

Extreme Makeover

2009-11-06T07:13:00.000-05:00

Makeovers requires stepping out of what is known, comfortable, and safe, into the unknown, the uncomfortable and the possibly dangerous. It means stepping out of the boat like Peter did. Keeping our eyes on Jesus and knowing that what scripture says is true, and to own

“I am sure that God Who began the good work within you will continue His work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again!” (Phil. 1:6)

Every Christian is a work in progress. No matter if you were saved when you were 2 or when you were 82, we are all on a journey that requires us to stop living for ourselves and give everything over to the Lord God Almighty. God says:

“For I know the plans I have for you, they are plans for Good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope”. (Jeramiah 29:11)

Plans, blueprints. A way of seeing the big picture. He gives us the big picture right there, He tells us His plans, for a future and a hope.

Hope, otherwise known as Jesus, real hope. There were many years that I didn’t have hope, and I really didn’t care what God had “planned” for my life. I was perfectly content to mess it up over and over again completely on my own. I would flirt with my faith for a while, but whenever I started getting more then a little interested in God, something would happen, infidelity, divorce, illness, that would make me turn my back on God all over again, .

Can’t you just picture God standing with His arms crossed, shaking His head at my antics, much like I did when my daughter was small and wanted to “do it herself”. I would stand back while she took those first wobbly steps or rode her bike without training wheels, but I would be right there to catch her if she fell or wipe her tears when she got hurt. Now, that's how I picture my heavenly Father. He knows I am going to fall, He knows I'm going to mess up, and over and over again He is there to catch me. Whe are all growing, and God is always there to catch us when we fall, wipe our tears when it just gets too hard, and listen to us when we cry out. But God knows the plans He has for us. He can see the big picture, and He knew that the time was coming when all the things of my past would catch up with me and then He could start my makeover.

This new life under contruction is an ongoing process. He has given us all the tools we need, with His word, prayer, worship, and grace. With only God’s help I have learned how to forgive, not only others, but myself. Satan loves to keep us spinning on that cycle of guilt and feelings of shame for the sins that Jesus has already died for. My continuous run on the hamster wheel of guilt for something that God had already forgiven made it seem as if My sin was bigger then Jesus sacrifice. We have to refer back to our blueprints, His Word, for understanding, we have to stay on our knees in prayer for His still small voice, and we have to allow Him to rebuild and renew our hearts, our souls and our minds. Like the great architect that he is, His plans are always right.

This new construction will also give you house warming gifts as well, your spirutal gifts that are put in place so that You can further His kingdom. God has also given me something else, an understanding of the passion that has been such a part of my life. I always had great passion, but never a healthy focus for it. Now I understand God’s intent for that, because I am passionate about Him and about His word. You can not be sold out for Christ half-way, you have to be passionate about it. It’s like a 90% sale at Tiffany’s, I gotta tell everyone about it because it’s priceless and only happens once in a lifetime.

As He is rebuilding the walls and putting on a new roof, he’s using the materials that I already have. The struggles that I went through and the horrors that I faced and the mistakes that I made. The body is still here, but he is tearing down the walls of doubt and self-loathing by His Word and His never ending grace I know that “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” and He was waiting for me all along to stop trying to follow my own plans but to “be still and know that He is God” and he’s taken over as the general contractor of my life.

By following His blueprints for your life, His word and His love and His power can shine through the darkness into someone elses broken down, condemend life. He can be invited in to shine His light, roll up His sleeves and get to work on their plans. God knows what the finished product will look like, join Him on the journey in your extreme makeover, God’s way.

PS. I'll explain the pictures in the next post, just know that I'm in both of them. Transformation.

Green-eyed monster

2009-11-05T06:24:00.002-05:00

I don't know where this picture originated, if it's yours, please let me know!

I am an almost 40-year-old woman. I own my own home, have a job, a car, and can buy everything I need and most of the things I want, but I fall prey to the “I gotta’s” Have you ever experienced those? I see someone with something and “I gotta have it…” or I think I do. It can be an advertisement on TV or a post on someone blogs, or mercy, someones shoes I see at church and that green-eyed monster rears it’s ugly head and I buy into the fact that if I just have that I will be happy. Lies. All lies from Satan. Satan in advertisement? Yep. I’m taking a hard line on this one. God will provide for all our needs, but how much do we truly need and how much do we just “think” we need and why am I writing so much in quotation marks?

I can remember being a child growing up and there was a certain brand of tennis shoes that everyone else had (yeah, right,) but hey, in my world everyone else had them and my parents refused to buy them for me. I was growing so fast and money at the time was not plentiful. I had a perfectly good pair of tennis shoes, I didn’t NEED another pair and I certainly didn’t need a pair that cost such a high amount just for the label but in my mind, it kept me from fitting in. But I was the one who kept myself out of the “in crowd”. I was intimidated and overwhelmed and I believed the lies that I wasn’t cute enough, thin enough, funny enough, and most of all, not rich enough to belong to that crowd. Talk about being a self-fulfilling prophecy. I became obese, I became depressed, I became poor, not only in finances but also in spirit.
In the past 20 years I have discovered something very interesting. One of the girls I admired, who I am now close with, had the same insecurities that I did. I wanted so much to be her friend but just didn’t know how to do it. She has shared with me some of her own foibles and fears that wonder of wonders; they were so much like mine. It was just all in how we responded to those. She has always had a confidence and a sense of style that I have looked up to and I admire the woman she has become and consider myself fortunate to count her as a friend and I cherish the times we get to spend in our back porch conversations.
The friends that I did make in school, they are still around, but very distant, and that makes me sad. But God has brought women into my life that I don’t share a past with but I do get to share a future with. Women who are smart, beautiful, funny, inspiring, amd every single woman, no matter who she is, comes with battle scars, comes with insecurities, comes with her own set of fears.

It makes me wonder sometimes if when Eve ate the forbidden fruit, and we became separated from our Heavenly Father, did we trade our compassion for conceit, did we trade our joy for jealousy, and did we trade our concern for contempt? Harsh words, but we did lose paradise. For me paradise would be where everyone would feel love; not only from God, but also from each other and where women wouldn’t have to work to overcome the walls we put up, but would instead build bridges to connect hearts to hearts.

Under the Influence

2009-11-04T06:41:00.000-05:00

“When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people who made a difference in this world. My hope is to leave the world a little better for having been there.” –Jim Henson

Forty years ago Sesame Street premiered on PBS on November 10, 1969. Just three weeks later, on December 7th, 1969 I was born. I grew up watching Sesame Street every morning, The Muppets and then Disney on Sunday. (It was always a win when it was a cartoon, remember?)

On Sesame Street the characters seemed to always reflect different aspects of my personality. Sometimes I would be grouchy, like Oscar, and sometimes things just wouldn’t work out like I thought they would, and then I could relate to Grover, or sometimes I just didn’t understand or I was trying to figure things out and me and The Big Guy, (Big Bird) would have a connection. I didn't realize it at the time but looking back, I can really see the influence.

As I got a bit older and The Muppet Show played I remember laughing and crying but also thinking at some of the performances. “The Rainbow Connection” and the “Buffalo Springfield Song”, which I only remembered as “Stop Children, what’s that sound…” but I still remember it to this day and although I didn’t understand it, it made me sad. Today, seeing The Muppet Show brings back memories of our green shag carpet and an orange “leather” couch, (hey, it was the 70’s) and mom making hot dogs (red ones of course) and putting French fries in a paper bag to salt and soak up the oil. Popping popcorn in a metal pot on the stove. Every Wednesday night hotdogs, almost every Sunday night, sausage and ham with homemade biscuits and applesauce, watching The Muppets and Disney, with my family, traditions, memories, and influences.

Influences.

We are all under the influence of something, as children, it is what we are surrounded with that influences us. Kids today seem to look down on Sesame Street and The Muppets, or at least on the outside they do, but inside, I wonder if perhaps they long for that innocence, when your biggest challenge as a 4-year-old was learning your letters and getting along with your big sister.

Our children today are used to “higher levels” of entertainment, but I’ve seen some of those shows and the overwhelming theme in the programming seems to be getting away with as much as possible without getting caught and there is no honoring of parents, respecting of adults, or really respecting of themselves. I understand that “things are different now” and perhaps I’m turning into one of those adults who thinks everything was better “back in the day”. Not really, I like change and enjoy some of the advancements that we have made, like cell phones over bag phones, now that’s an improvement I can embrace and easier to carry.

What is influencing you now? What do you allow to have an influence on your life, on your children’s lives? "Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?" and maybe we can make “The Rainbow Connection” the lovers, the dreamers and me.

Thank you Big Bird, Grover, Kermit and Oscar, and thank you to my mom and dad, for all the memories and all the smiles, I’m thankful I got to be under your influence.

Go here to see the difference between Sesame Street then and now.

Happy 40th Birthday Sesame Street!

“The rest of the story.”

2009-11-03T07:09:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I talked about taking off our husband’s boots and giving him back the reins in the marriage. It is important for wives to submit to our husbands. That was a sore point with me until I read “the rest of the story.”

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[b] 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:25-33)

First of all, friends we need to notice something right off the bat. God is giving men a lot more instruction then He gave women. Look back at Ephesians 5:22-24. For WH's (wonderful husband) perspective on this, check out his new blog. But, back to the females perspective on submission and God's instruction for marriage.

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Three verses, that’s it. Submit and why and then again, submit with an example. That’s it, straight to the point, there you go.

Look at what God is saying to the men and no, we aren't talking about the fact that men need more instruction then women. (It's so hard to bite my tongue here, see I'm still struggling with some things.)

I am thankful God gives men examples and explains it thoroughly. In order to do something well we learn by modeling behavior of someone who is already doing it right. Women are going to submit to their husbands, their husbands are submitting to God, so God is leading by example, He is using this to teach men how to lead.

Love, example of Christ loving the church, and how He loved the church, and then more instructions. "Men are to love their wives as their own bodies." Our bodies are our temples, we are His masterpiece, and God instructs our husbands to treat us as if we were their own flesh.

God gives detailed instructions, to feed and care for, and to put aside other influences, and be united with his wife. A united front. Children are to submit to their parents, to fall under their authority, however, when a man is grown, and has a wife, how can he be the leader in his family if he is still falling under the authority of his parents? That does not mean we stop respecting and honoring our parents once we become adults and have families of our own, but how many mothers are still sitting in authority over their grown sons? How many fathers are still holding authority over their daddy’s girls? This undermines the foundation of their children’s marriage. No person can follow more then one leader. A woman must follow the leadership of her husband, for the glory of her marriage and her life, and a man must fall under only God’s authority and guidance.

Yes, submission is difficult, but God doesn’t argue the point or leave it open to discussion, ladies, you just do it, so that your husband can, in turn, love you as Christ loved the church, provide, protect, honor, feed and care for. I’m so thankful God opened my eyes to read “the rest of the story”. It’s a lot easier to trust and give my husband his boots back when I know that he wants to give me the love, honor, and protection that Jesus wants for his bride. When two people have God at the center of their marriage, it truly does make it so much easier. Believe me, I’ve tried to do it without Him and this way is much, much better.

A six-letter cuss word in the Bible.

2009-11-02T06:58:00.004-05:00

“God wants me to do what?”

22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ,so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. (Ephesians 5: 22-24)

Submit? God wants me to submit to my husband, in EVERYTHING? Well, that was for olden times. That doesn’t apply to today. God doesn’t understand. I mean I work hard, and sometimes I’m smarter then my husband about things and we are equals in this marriage. I don’t submit to him and he doesn’t submit to me, and we are doing fine so nope, this passage doesn’t mean me.

And besides, I am not going to become a doormat for my husband to walk all over. If I start submitting to him, he will just take advantage, I can see it now, I will fix his dinner, wash his clothes, clean up the kitchen, clean the house, take out the trash…doing all the chores, and he will just be sitting there like he’s king of the castle. I work full time too. That’s not fair that God wants me to submit to him. Does God know my husband??? Nope, that whole submission thing, if that is what it means to have a Christian marriage, you count me out.

This is such a hard verse to comprehend to new Christians and even some “old” Christians as well. It’s a passage that I have heard twisted and maligned to show that God believes that women are subservient to men, that women were property, or slaves, and that is all wrong. That’s what happens when you take one part of a verse without researching, exploring and reading the entire passage. If you don’t know Jesus and his relationship with the church, then a lot of this message looses its power. If you don’t read on through Ephesians 5 you miss out on God’s instructions to men as to how they should treat their wives.
For a long time I only took the first part of this verse to heart, that I should submit to my husband. I never did that and the argument above was mine for a long time, with all three of my husbands. Yep, all three. I’ll let you think about that for a minute. 1st husband, divorced, 2nd husband, divorced, 3rd husband, holding on tight.

My marriage today to WH (wonderful husband) is my third marriage. Statistically, according to the world, this marriage won’t make it either. That’s a scary thought. But WH and I aren’t living the world’s way anymore, we are learning and striving to live God’s way but I had to make a change. I had to learn to submit. Submission was not something the world wanted me to do in my marriage. I have a very strong personality, which is the polite way of saying that I am bossy, (ask my brother). I have no problem delegating things and I have very strong opinions about things (hardheaded). With husband #1 and #2 I took the lead. I wasn’t going to fetch and tote, I wasn’t going to allow them to walk all over me and I wasn’t going to be their maid or servant. Submit, not me.

Have you ever plowed a field with two oxen? Nope, me either, but I did some research, and I also read “Little House on the Prairie” as a kid. Laura talks about Pa having to train the oxen to plow. He would do that by allowing one ox lead over the other, because if they were tied equally they wouldn’t move, both would be trying to lead. Huge paraphrase there with my apologies to Mrs. Wilder.

But that is a perfect picture of both of my earlier marriages, we didn’t have God as the center of our marriage and I wasn’t willing to allow my husband(s) to lead, and they didn’t understand what leading was. Instead of being able to fall under their authority, I just took one rein and they had the other (sometimes) and instead of our marriage moving forward, it didn’t go at all. There were other reasons those marriages did not make it, but I think a lot came down to I wasn’t willing to submit to my husband, and he didn’t know how to treat me as Christ treated the church.

Are you taking the reins? Who is leading your marriage? Do you know how to submit to your husband? The way we learn to do this is to look at the rest of the passage, we must submit to our husbands in everything as the church submitted to Christ. The church submits to Christ’s authority over it, to His leadership and His direction because the church knows and recognizes that no one loves it more then Jesus. He is the bridegroom. We need to follow our husband’s leadership, need to accept and respect his protection and guidance, and trust that he will do what is best for his wife and family.

But that’s hard!!!!!!!! Yes, it is. This passage is hard because:
1. Perhaps your spouse isn’t a believer; you still give him respect and submit, as long as his leading does not lead you to sin and you pray for him. Your husband will be impacted by your willingness to allow him to lead, do not judge, do not nag, do not be critical of your husband, but speak with respect and love, as you would speak to Jesus if he were standing in front of you. Give your husband that honor and allow the love of God to live through you.

2. Perhaps your spouse doesn’t know how to lead. I remember thinking, “If I don’t lead this family we will never go anywhere.” The world has taken away so many of the wonderful characteristics that belong to men and women have felt compelled to take them up. Like the little girl wearing her daddy’s boots, it’s cute for a while but if she’s not careful she will fall and get hurt. Take the boots off ladies and give them back to your husband. I think our shoes are prettier anyway. Talk with your husband about this passage and get his feedback. Ask God to guide the two of you, as you, the bride, learn to submit, and he learns to lead. Stay out of his boots!

Submit is not a six letter cuss word. It can be a balm to a struggling marriage, the first stitch in sewing a marriage torn apart back together. Giving your husband both the reins enables him to lead. Listening to him and following his guidance in all things, to and don't foget to give him his boots back.

This builds our marriage Gods way, not the world’s way, and that is a connection unlike anything I can describe when a man and woman are living their lives God’s way, NOT the worlds way. You get to move forward as one instead of standing still and you get some great shoes!

We gave God the remote.

2009-10-28T06:29:00.002-04:00

We discussed Ephesians 4:17-32 last night at my connect group (God's Girls!) but I want to talk about the following verse today.

21 Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, 22 throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. 23 Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. 24 Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

Verse 21-24 talks about “throwing off your old sinful nature and your former way of life…” I know, for me, that I have some old that I still carry, but I believe that there is more about my life now and my thinking that is new and I know that the Holy Spirit is working to "renew my thoughts and my attitudes" every day. There are things today that never used to bother me, things I have always said and done, they were very common for me and acceptable to my family and my friends because they weren't bad things, until God started renewing my thoughts and my attitudes.

One of the things that we stopped or “threw off” about two years ago was television. We have a television and there were some shows that I really enjoyed watching, however, my WH (wonderful husband) and I were becoming concerned, not only with some of the programs that were being shown in primetime, but also with the impact that television was having on our DD (darling daughter). It was stuff that, on the surface looked fine, but once you started listening to the content and "seeing it with a new attitude" it really made us reexamine what was acceptable in our home, not just for DD but for me and WH as well. So we took a drastic step and cancelled our cable. We have a television but we use it to play games and watch movies that we pick out. We became very intentional about what we watched. We disabled the external remote control and gave God the remote to what we wanted in our lives.

I am not saying that television is horrible or if you watch you are a bad person. I will not run from the room screaming if you have a t.v. and are watching it when I'm around, I might grab some popcorn and a Coke and sit down with you, (we aren't talking about my snacking habits today). The television is a tool, just like the computer, just like pen and paper, just like a cell phone, and on and on, but I found that it was so easy to lose valuable time, with my family, with my friends, with the things that I want for my life, by escaping into someone else’s life (reality t.v.), someone else’s drama (cop shows) someone else’s laughter (comedies), or someone elses exercise (sports) when instead I needed to be living my own life, solving my own mysteries, and seeing the blessings and the humor that God places in my life every day, we won't talk about exercise, I'm still working on that one.

Put off the old, well, I got rid of some of the old by unplugging the t.v. but it is easy to fall into the same old trap with email, Facebook, and Twitter, and the other social networks out there. All great things if used in the right way, not so good if they start taking us away from in-person relationships, face-to-face communication, and heart-to- heart talks where I can give you an actual hug instead of a virtual one, I can laugh with you instead of LOL you, and I can give you a real shoulder to cry on instead of a :-(.
Our television watching was something my family and I felt God was instructing us to put off as part of our old way of life. It might be something completely different for you but ask yourself,

“What do I need to put off? In what way does the

Holy Spirit need to be renewing my heart and my mind.”

If I can pray for you, if I can help you in any way, leave a comment or send me an email to leigh at leighfrance dot com.

God bless,

Leigh

Are you able to read this?

2009-10-26T07:31:00.002-04:00

Can you read this? It's really important. Hurry, please read below:

Poslanica Efežanima 4:17-19

živimo kao djeca svjetla's
17Ovo kažem u Gospodinovo ime: zaklinjem vas da ne živite kao što žive pogani, razmišljajući isprazno. 18Oni su, naime, zaslijepljeni i zamračena uma, daleko su od Božjega života jer su zatvorili svoj razum prema njemu i ne mogu shvatiti Božje putove. 19Ne mare više je li što dobro ili zlo. Odali su se bludu i u pohlepi počinjaju kojekakve nečistoće.

No? Why not? But it’s a Bible verse. Don’t you read your Bible? Why can’t you understand this? I’ll give you a hint, it’s from Ephesians 4: 17-19.

No, don’t Goggle it!!!! Come back here.

The majority of us cannot read it, (In case someone from Croatia happens on my blog I have to say majority). This is Ephesians 4: 17-19 from a Croatian translation of the Bible but for many years this was kind of how my Bible looked to me until someone wiser came alongside and gave me some direction.

The Bible is our instruction book for life, a tool from God. How to handle everything in life, no matter what, it’s in there but you have to find a translation that you understand. I always had a hard time with the King James version. As you already know by reading my blog, one of satan’s hot buttons in my life was my intelligence, or my perceived lack of intelligence. Because I didn’t think I was very smart, when I would open up a Bible and see all the thee, thy, thou, and the therefores, that little voice would say,” See, you are too stupid to even understand this or it’s boring, or it doesn’t apply to your life today, real people don’t talk like that.”

But one day I met a lady who was outgoing, funny, loved to sing, (she reminded me of my Grandmother Williams), and she loved her some Jesus. She and I talked and I explained to her my frustration with understanding God’s word. She told me there were OTHER Bible translations out there. I had no idea and that felt wrong to me. Other translations? But doesn’t that change the meaning, change what is important, etc? She said that you have to educate yourself on Bibles that are sound in doctrine AND that you can understand. Like the verse above, if you only speak English and you try to read the Bible in Croatian, how is that gonna work for you? So I found a great Bible, I use the New International Version Life Application Study Bible. It’s great for me because it speaks in a way I can understand, gives more information about the verses, and it gives me background information and cross-references, etc. but there are many others out there.

The verse at the top of the page is translated below in four versions. Go to http://www.biblegateway.com/ or http://www.biblos.com/ and you can see other versions. Find one that you understand, that speaks to your heart. I’ll be talking more about the actual verse tomorrow.

Ephesians 4:17-19

(New Living Translation) 17 With the Lord’s authority I say this: Live no longer as the Gentiles do, for they are hopelessly confused. 18 Their minds are full of darkness; they wander far from the life God gives because they have closed their minds and hardened their hearts against him. 19 They have no sense of shame. They live for lustful pleasure and eagerly practice every kind of impurity.

(The Message) 17-19And so I insist—and God backs me up on this—that there be no going along with the crowd, the empty-headed, mindless crowd. They've refused for so long to deal with God that they've lost touch not only with God but with reality itself. They can't think straight anymore. Feeling no pain, they let themselves go in sexual obsession, addicted to every sort of perversion

(King James Version) 17This I say therefore, and testify in the Lord, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, 18Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: 19Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness.

(New International Version)
Living as Children of Light
17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

Check them out, pick one, and start using it. Every day. God wants to equip His children for the day with His word, His wisdom, and His guidance. The Bible is your instruction manual for life, it’s imperative that you obtain a translation that you are able to decipher, comprehend and incorporate into your day to day existence (translation: Get one you can read and understand).

God Bless!

Leigh

Its a Decision

2009-10-23T07:43:00.002-04:00

I made a decision last week to put a video of my testimony on my blog. I decided to trust that God could use it as He saw fit and I would just be obedient to His leading. The testimony that is posted is actually a shortened version of my complete testimony. I spoke at my church on where I had been, what God had done in my life, and where I was going now. My testimony, when I wrote it, was to stress that God is in pursuit of His children but when I stepped on to the stage, I felt that I had to also speak about how satan is a liar and that we cannot believe those lies. It is vital to know the difference between the love of God and the lies of satan and make the decision of whom you are going to listen to.

For a long, long time only the lies of Satan rang in my head. I am not talking about “the devil made me do it” mentality but the “I am not worthy of love” thought process. That was a lie from satan and it had an impact on all the decisions I made, how I treated people, and how I treated myself.

Writing my testimony was hard. It felt like opening up a closet that I had shoved all my stuff into, and I had to take it out and decide what I was going to do with it. Much of it was like those cards that you get now that when you open them they play music but my stuff played “You are ugly”, “You are dirty”, “No one will love you.” “You don’t deserve God”, and the loudest one, “God doesn’t want you.” Playing over and over and over and I had to decide, “Who am I going to listen?”

Many days I wake up and I can almost feel the darkness building up in my head, the doubts, the fear, that record that I have broken over and over again that plays, “you are not _____, you can’t do ______,” Name it, I promise I’ve heard it more then once. Now I know what to do, I turn on the Light. I fight those lies with His truth and I go to God’s word because there He gives me the weapons to fight. But I have to decide to use those weapons and to believe that those weapons were written for me.

Just because His word says that God loves me and that I am forgiven does not mean that is all there is to it. I have to decide to accept it as truth and sometimes I have to read and re-read and pray and pray again, to be reminded. If I told my daughter one time that I loved her, does that mean I never have to tell her again for the rest of her life? No, I pour my love for her over and around and make sure she knows that she knows that she knows how much I love her. But God loves us more. The Bible says it over and over again how much more God loves us but we have to decide to accept that love. It’s a decision.

Do I wish that I could change the things that happened to me, yes. I wish I hadn’t been sexually abused, I wish I hadn’t had an abortion, and I wish I hadn’t been divorced, twice, and all the other things that satan wants me to sees as failures. But can I change anything about what came before now? No. But, I can decide how what came before will impact today and so I decide to be thankful for it.

Thankful? Yes, thankful, because God will use it. (Genesis 50:20) I know that. God used someone else’s pain and hurt and suffering and their willingness to talk about it, to let me know that He loved me, so I can be thankful because maybe one day someone else will say, “You let me know that I wasn’t alone”, or “Your story helped me to see that God could love me”. That alone, that one person makes everything worthwhile. If you knew that your pain and hurt would be used by God to save one of His children from an eternity in hell, would you go through it? What if the one saved is your child, your sister, or what if it’s you? Are they worth it? Are you worth it? God’s Word says that you are. So I have decided to be thankful and open, and honest, willing to share all of it, even though it hurts sometimes, because each of us are worth it. Decide.

It's Not About Me.

2009-10-21T07:51:00.001-04:00

This morning I got up anxious to spend some time with God. I was excited about what my time was going to reveal to me this morning but not for the reasons that I am proud of. I realized that I was getting more excited about writing my blog and having people be impressed by me then giving my time to God, being honest with Him (which is silly, He already knows my heart, might as well be real, you get to spend more quality time with Him if you aren’t dancing around your intentions.)

After attempting to do a Proverb a day, which was amazing and I learned so much, but was frustrating because I couldn’t “keep up” with what I was supposed to do. (Good grief, how silly are we??) Does it make sense to rush through and miss a gift from God because I need to stay on schedule then spend two days, two weeks, or two months on a verse that keeps feeding my soul, just cause I think I have to “keep up”…Keep up with WHO??? This is MY journey with God, my walk with the Father. Yes I have friends around me, I have fellow Christians on their own journey but their walk will not look like mine, their experiences won’t be like mine, and God might speak something completely different into their lives then He does into mine. So why on earth am I looking around me when I just need to be looking at Him?

So...after all of this stewing in my head yesterday and today, I got up this morning, got my coffee and started with prayer. I could not get beyond the prayer. How do I do it, what do I say, is there a right way, a wrong way? I started three different times and all three times felt wrong. So I just asked, “God help me.” And then I went to the Word and to Matthew 6: 9-13. The Lord’s Prayer and I took each line and really read it.

Our Father in heaven

Hallowed be your name,

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread

Forgive us our debts,

As we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

then I changed the “ours” to “my” and the “us” to “me” and I made The Lord’s Prayer mine this morning.

My Father in heaven

Hallowed be Your name,

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done,

On earth as it is in heaven.

Give me today my daily bread

Forgive me my debts,

As I also have forgiven my debtors.

And lead me not into temptation,

but deliver me from the evil one.

To claim something, to make it yours. I cannot get into heaven or have a relationship on my parent’s faith, just like my daughter cannot get into heaven or know her heavenly Father because of my faith, she has to develop that relationship. A relationship comes from knowing how to communicate. Jesus equipped each of us with how we should pray and even how to check our hearts and check our intentions in the relationship we have with God.

I came to terms this morning with the fact that I need to constantly check my heart. My desire is to be real and honest with my readers about my life, but more then that I want to be real and honest with God about it. So I asked myself some hard questions this morning.

“Am I writing for God or am I writing for the attention, it just happens to be about God.”

I am human (surprise, surprise). Attention is great. We all desire attention but I know that my purpose is more than for attention. I ache for those who are like me and lost and hurting. I just want to stand here with a big sign with an arrow on it pointing to heaven but I know it works better if truth and honesty come out, so yes, I am writing FOR God and not just about Him. I know this because I am very intentional that no matter what the story is, no matter the experience, I don’t want the focus to be on what I did, right or wrong, or what happened to me, good or bad, but by pointing out where God was, what God did, and how only with God was I ever able to do the next thing. But it is good to check my motives and to have people in my life that will help me stay accountable.

“Does God come first or do I?”

Sometimes it’s harder to put God first, hard to let Him lead, but I know if I just hold on and don’t let go, God’s kingdom will come and His Will will be done. I see over and over again that putting God first clears the path.

Think about being a child in a crowded store. You are about six years old; too old to be carried but you still have to hold hands. There isn’t enough room to walk side by side. There are too many people and you cannot see over their heads. What do you do? You take your father’s hand and you walk behind him. He clears the path, he knows where he is going, and you just hold on. It works the same way with God, but we must stop letting go and trying to do it ourselves, because then we just get lost in the crowd.

“Are speaking and writing my calling God?”

Yes, yes, yes. A calling is something that you are passionate about and would do all day, every day without getting paid. Would I write if no one read it, Yes! Would I speak if no one listened? Yes! Would I blog if no one stopped by? Yes! Because I’m not doing it for me, I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for Him and obeying what He has placed in my heart. What He chooses to do with it is 100% up to Him.

Check your motives, that means, “Would you still do _______ (whatever God has placed on your heart) if no one would ever know you did it?

Hard questions that take some time to process but answer them honestly, don’t dance around them with God, He already knows.

I closed out my time this morning with God thanking Him for showing up. I felt in my heart He said, “I am always here.”

I said “God I just want to make you famous.” And I don’t mean to sound silly, but I felt I heard Him laugh, and say, “Sweetheart, I’m already famous, but you can help make me real.” I battled with that, how do you make God real? You do it the same way it was done for me, by honesty, by truth, and by pointing others to Him for every single thing and helping each person find their way to His hand. I can do it by speaking about how my life has changed because of God and it all starts with a simple prayer, “My Father, who is in Heaven…”

Come To Jesus Meetin part 2

2009-10-20T07:49:00.001-04:00

This morning I got up and debated, do I move on to Proverbs 20? It is the 20^th and I want to stay on track, so I tried. I prayed and opened my Bible and started reading Proverbs 20. There were some great verses, but my attention kept going back to Proverbs 19, verse 2. It was calling me, you know, like those peanut butter cups that you have on the top shelf in the pantry for the trick or treaters, I know I buy candy early to prepare early (yeah right) and then I wind up buying more candy the day before or the day of Halloween, cause “I’m just gonna eat one or two pieces”. That candy is gone and you’ve added a pound or two if you do that every day. (I need to do that with my bible reading, I wonder if it would help if I hid it in the pantry, what if it tasted like chocolate…hmm, probably not.)

But anyway, thanks for taking that bunny trail with me. LOL.

So I finally turned the page back to Proverbs 19:2.

“It is not good to have zeal without knowledge,
nor to be hasty and miss the way.”

“To be hasty”. That’s where I had to stop yesterday because my 30 minutes with God had turned into 2.5 hours and I had to get to work. It was an awesome morning though and I seriously thought on that portion of the verse and just turned it over and over in my head all day (like a jawbreaker for my brain). So this morning, “to be hasty” was speaking just as loud. I am always in a hurry, rushed, moving, going, driving myself and my family a little crazy. I look at my calendar and there are very few days that are blank. But even more then that, I look back over my life and see decisions that were made in haste. Decisions that impacted the rest of my life, some positive and some negatively.

Buyer Beware! I have been a salesman and so I speak with a bit of expertise on this. It is imperative that once you have someone interested that you “close the sale” as soon as possible. Some salesmen are high pressured (that door-to-door salesman trying to get me to buy a cleaner). They rush, pressure, and attempt to “close the deal” as soon as possible, haste. They are excited, pumped up, zealous about what it is they are selling. They are willing to provide knowledge but only to a certain degree, not enough time to allow you to think about it, “if you buy now you can get 2 for price of 1 or I’ll cut the price, this price is only good right now, in an hour it goes up...(does that even make sense?) etc.” Happens so many times we even have a term for it, “buyers remorse”. After you slow down, take a breath and can think, you realize perhaps that was not a wise investment. It does not matter if it was 10 dollars or 100,000 dollars. If you regret having spent it, it is a loss, a mistake, an unwise decision.

Imagine a similar scenario the guy that you see at school that you are excited to see, can’t stop thinking about him, seriously liking the way he looks, how he laughs, he’s popular and funny….but what do you KNOW about him? Really know. Don’t be hasty and alter the path that God has for you. But we get in such a hurry, as teenagers to grow up, as young adults to “never be alone” and in our haste and due to zeal (lust and excitement) we make decisions that forever alter our path. You must know BEFORE what your boundaries are, your own self worth, and to know you before you even attempt to know someone else, no matter how excited, how much ZEAL that person professes to have for you. Knowledge is priceless.

This one verse holds so much wisdom for everything in our life. Zeal is great when it is built upon knowledge and you can be quick in your decisions when you KNOW that you are open to God’s leading but this does not happen overnight. You have to learn, grow, and understand.

I have often heard the saying, “haste makes waste” and often attributed it to cooking or making something, but it applies to all aspects of our lives. If we are hasty with our decisions we waste time and could chose poorly and wind up having to either repair or apologize for our mistake, which waste our resources, (time, money, etc.) How many times have I, in my haste, made a decision that later I wish I hadn’t? How many times have you? But instead of slowing down and heeding what Proverbs 19:2 warns us about we continue to get busier and busier, to rush and “make haste” and in the noise that we create in our lives we cannot hear God, cannot understand His desire for us and in our haste to decide what We should do, who WE should be with, and where WE should go, WE drown out the Father’s voice. The voice that already knows who, where, and what about our lives and can provide the direction, the wisdom that will protect our hearts, our minds and our lives.

God doesn’t want us to “miss the way”. He provided “the way, the truth, and the light” in His son, Jesus. Think my friends, I know I will try even harder now, to understand and obtain knowledge so that my passion for Christ and His teachings can be used for His glory and not be misguided. I will slow down, become intentional in the decisions that I make and not be hasty, shutting out the noise and distractions of the world so that God can give me the direction He would have me go, so that I do not “miss the way.”

What a wonderful comfort to know He is in control.

God I pray for each heart that cries out to You. God I ask that you help them to find the knowledge and reassurance that Your Word assures we are all given. God I thank you for being so patient and loving and forgiving of all your children, when we, in haste, make decisions that are not best for us. I know, because You have done it in my life, that when we are ready to embrace Your will for our lives and Your guidance, that the broad, winding path becomes straight and narrow but filled with the joy of seeing the world with Your eyes and Your heart, not mans. Thank you Father for all that You are and all that You have given each one of us. In Jesus’ name, Amen.